Shattered glass – Bridgette Tales

Yesterday I went to Old Sacramento with my mom to do a little photography. She’s headed back to Washington in a few days and this was our last outing until I visit her in the Spring. Instead of taking photos for the next challenge, I took photos of whatever I liked.

There were more cracked windows and boarded-up businesses than I remembered seeing the last time I visited. More homeless people and garbage too. For most of my life, this part of Sacramento has felt sacred to me. It’s a bit of history you can walk around and touch. It’s sad to see it declining.

It feels like a microcosm for so much in the world. Things aren’t the way they used to be (oh, that makes me sound old). “Back in my day…” But it’s true. It’s hard to remain optimistic with mass shootings and climate change disasters. It’s hard to think about where this is all heading. It’s hard to live in the uncertainty.

Meanwhile, my personal life is easier right now. My daughter’s mental health is stable and she’s enjoying homeschool. My son has graduated high school and is taking some time to rest and recover from the last few years. I’ve got some great friends who love me and a fantastic and supportive writing group.

Despite all this good, I feel trepidatious. After living in a state of constant anxiety for years my body doesn’t trust “easy”. I’ve had some panic attacks and some nightmares. The writing goals I set for the year aren’t looking possible and I walk the line between optimism and grief quite regularly.

As a result, I suppose, my blog has become filled with photography and poetry. I’ve been using these creative forms as a way of exploring joy and finding balance. I still pull out my works-in-progress and play with them from time to time. I still want to self-publish my short story collection. I still have plenty of goals, but maybe it’s not a bad thing to slow down.

I don’t know what the future brings for my family, my blog, and the world, but I do know it’s better when we all reach out and support each other. I’m so grateful to everyone who stops by to leave me a like or a comment. My friendships here fill me with so much hope. So, in case I haven’t said it lately, I’m glad you are here.

Thank you.