Author: Bridgette

by

The Power of Music: Our Night with Lizzo

Turn up the music, turn down the lights
I got a feelin’ I’m gon’ be alright
Okay (okay), alright
It’s about damn time

On Sunday, my daughter and I attended a Lizzo concert in downtown Sacramento. It was a combined birthday present for us both and it was life-changing.

We got to the arena five hours before showtime and were lucky enough to be number 35 and 36 in line. The fans we stood beside became our friends as we waited in excitement to be let into the arena. I’d never done pit tickets before and didn’t know what to expect, but our new friends took us under their wing and walked us through the ropes.

Once inside, we got a spot on the barricade—right beside the stage! My daughter and I kept turning to each other in disbelief. It was more than we could have hoped for.

Lizzo’s DJ opened the show followed by the gorgeous Latto. One of her songs featured protest signs and we chanted “My Body, My Choice” as a crowd. The energy felt incredible.

Then, the moment came. When Lizzo took the stage in a striking purple sparkling outfit, my daughter and I cried. She is more than a performer to us, she’s a symbol of how to love your body. She’s a role model. She stands for self-love in the biggest way possible. We were starstruck! We danced, sang along at the top of our lungs, and laughed. We felt free and beautiful. We felt her magic.

When Lizzo appeared in a stunning silver robe and removed it to sing Naked to the crowd, it brought up some big feelings. I’ve had such a hard time loving my plus-sized body, but she made me believe I could. She made me believe I deserve it. We all do. What a gift!

Let down my guard, undo my robe
I’m standing here, don’t need no clothes
I’m naked
Love how you look at me naked
Come make this body feel sacred
I’m a big girl, don’t you waste it, naked

The most powerful moment of the night, for us, was when Lizzo played the song Special. This song is an anthem in our house and has played a major role in my daughter’s mental health journey. It’s a mantra and a call to self-love. We play it on the dark days as a beacon of light. We cling to it when times are hard. To hear Lizzo sing it mere feet from us was transformative. My daughter and I sobbed beside each other feeling the weight of the last few years, the bigness of what we’ve been through together, and the love we share.

In case nobody told you today
You’re special
In case nobody made you believe
You’re special
Well, I will always love you the same
You’re special
I’m so glad that you’re still with us
Broken, but damn, you’re still perfect

At one point during the song, Lizzo saw my girl sobbing and they had a moment. She gave my girl love. Directly. Life can be so hard, but that moment was pure and utter magic. I can’t thank Lizzo enough for seeing her, for her powerful music, and for making me believe in the good of people. Here’s a bit of the song for you to enjoy:

It’s been a few days since the concert and honestly, I still feel transformed. My body feels somehow more comfortable. More like my home. I wore tighter clothes the last few days and didn’t hide my arms. I felt more peaceful about my body. More in love with it. This morning I even caught my reflection in the back door while watering and thought I looked pretty. I snapped this picture so I can remember this feeling.

If you are reading this today, consider it partly a love letter to you. Yes, you. I know it’s hard to love our bodies when they don’t look like we think they “should.” But it’s okay. It really is. You can work on yourself and love yourself. You can be happy with your body right now. Please, be kind to you today. We all need you here. One more time, all together:

You’re special
I’m so glad that you’re still with us
Broken, but damn, you’re still perfect

by

52 Photo Challenge: Week 21-Shadow

“May your feet ever walk in the light of two suns… and may the moonshadow never fall on you… ”—Robert Fanney

This week my assignment for the 52 photo challenge was to capture shadows. I had originally thought it might be nice to drive downtown and look for interesting shapes, but time got away from me and I settled on playing around at home.

The first eight photos were taken in my daughter’s bedroom and are of my own shadow. The rest were taken in the backyard. The hummingbird and owl are metal cutouts that usually sit in my planters, but I moved them around to create these images.

Last week was hard for me. I cried a lot and reached a new part of my healing and these photos are a part of that expression. I hope these photos bring you as much joy as they did me. Let me know if you have a favorite and have a fantastic week!

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

#10

  • Photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW
  • If you want to join the 52 Photo Challenge, you can find all the information at nicolesy.com

52 Photo Challenge
Week 1: Bokeh
Week 2: Silhouette
Week 3: Black and White
Week 4: Motion Blur
Week 5: Texture
Week 6: Framing
Week 7: Leading Lines
Week 8: Negative Space
Week 9: Patterns
Week 10: Symmetry
Week 11: Green
Week 12: Sidelight
Week 13: Sense of Scale
Week 14: One Lens
Week 15: Series
Week 16: Flat Lay
Week 17: Behind the Scenes
Week 18: Water
Week 19: Blurry Foreground
Week 20: Unique Perspective

by

poetry: remember

4/30

time isn’t linear at all. broken
hearts know this truth. concentric
circles might be closer. i drive
into the rice fields to see myself
riding bareback, kicking up dirt
into the water. cranes take flight
scared by hoofbeats and hollering—
‘your eyes can be so cruel,
just as i can be so cruel.’ vultures
watch me traveltime, hissing
‘you don’t belong here anymore.’
i know. circling, i turn back.

More short poems:
1/30: not my cat
2/30: comfort
3/30: ache

by

poetry: ache

3/30

an old ache woke today
i thought it drowned in Miami
while hard waves crashed my thighs
salt meeting salt

but here it is again
calling loudly of hidden rushing waterfalls
not dry deserts or busy cityscapes
chosen not settled

go away, i half whisper
folding myself into my rough hammock
while a tiny brown bird sings
without an answer

More short poems:
1/30: not my cat
2/30: comfort

by

52 Photo Challenge: Week 20-Unique Perspective

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”—Marcus Aurelius

This week my assignment for the 52 photo challenge was to capture images with a unique perspective. After overthinking and beating myself up last week, I decided to have fun with this one. All of these photos are taken in my yard. I rolled around on the ground, played with the cat, and chased a few ladybugs and bees. It was probably the most fun I’ve had taking photos in a long time.

I edited the photos differently this week too, opting for a sort of dark wood feeling. It might not fit with spring, but it fits the mood of these photos and I really like it. Let me know if you have a favorite and have a fantastic week.

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

#10

#11

#12
  • Photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW
  • If you want to join the 52 Photo Challenge, you can find all the information at nicolesy.com

52 Photo Challenge
Week 1: Bokeh
Week 2: Silhouette
Week 3: Black and White
Week 4: Motion Blur
Week 5: Texture
Week 6: Framing
Week 7: Leading Lines
Week 8: Negative Space
Week 9: Patterns
Week 10: Symmetry
Week 11: Green
Week 12: Sidelight
Week 13: Sense of Scale
Week 14: One Lens
Week 15: Series
Week 16: Flat Lay
Week 17: Behind the Scenes
Week 18: Water
Week 19: Blurry Foreground

by

poetry: dancing girl

sadness takes residence inside my bones
sometimes. it drives tiny sharp stakes 
deep into marrow before releasing
its large grey tent. i don’t notice
until the fires start and thick smoke
takes my breath away. no. not again.

reaction isn’t quick—no flashing lights 
or loud sirens. instead, i silently wait 
for dancing girl to wake. press needle
onto vinyl. stretch. sing. call. dreamily
she’ll arrive amid bubbles, swirls, golden
light. sadness doesn’t stand a chance.

Note: I don’t always remember the power of movement, but once the music starts my body does. This poem and photos were created as part of the “What Moves You?” challenge. Thank you Michele Lee of My Inspired Life for your continued support of my healing journey. I can’t wait to read all the moving posts.

by

poetry: not my cat

1/30

wandering quietly into morning sun
fluffy-puffed tail held high
he jumps, greeting my hand—
dear old stranger/neighbor cat

friends, I suppose, two strays
looking simply for some comfort
purring for a brief moment
before saying goodbye once more

Note: I’m accepting a challenge to write thirty short poems (not in a row, just as they come). I’m defining short as no more than two stanzas. I was inspired by the beautiful work of my friend Neil—check out his incredible 30 poems. I’m also inspired by sceadugenga who always amazes me with his genius brevity. Feel free to join the challenge if you like.

Edited: A brilliant poet, David, mentioned to me that stanzas can be very long and he’s correct. I’ve changed the guidelines to be under 60 words instead of two stanzas. I think word count is an excellent way to measure these tiny/short/micro/baby poems. Thanks!

by

52 Photo Challenge: Week 19-Blurry Foreground

“Things blossom in their time. They bud and bloom, blossom and fade. Everything in its time.” —Neil Gaiman

This week my assignment for the 52 photo challenge was to create an image with a blurry foreground. My daughter and I went to the McKinley Rose Garden in downtown Sacramento at sunset, but I found it hard to not focus on close-up photos of the gorgeous petals. I spent hours messing around with the settings on my camera and getting very annoyed at myself. I left grumpy, covered in mosquito bites, and feeling like a fraud.

On Friday, in an attempt to feel better, I grabbed the camera and took a few shots of my darling nephew. Unfortunately, I’m not sure about those shots either. It seems I’m discontent with everything I create right now. It feels like I’m stagnant or perhaps I’m too close to see my own growth. It’s making me feel insecure, needy, and impatient. Ugh.

All this to say, I really need help in picking an image to share with the photography group this week. Any favorites? Also, any advice on beating the creativity blues is more than welcome. Thank you for stopping by and smelling the roses. I hope you have a fantastic week!

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

#10

#11

  • Photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW
  • If you want to join the 52 Photo Challenge, you can find all the information at nicolesy.com

52 Photo Challenge
Week 1: Bokeh
Week 2: Silhouette
Week 3: Black and White
Week 4: Motion Blur
Week 5: Texture
Week 6: Framing
Week 7: Leading Lines
Week 8: Negative Space
Week 9: Patterns
Week 10: Symmetry
Week 11: Green
Week 12: Sidelight
Week 13: Sense of Scale
Week 14: One Lens
Week 15: Series
Week 16: Flat Lay
Week 17: Behind the Scenes
Week 18: Water

by

Poetry: Motherhood in Two Parts

My Mom

you get stoned
say you’re proud
say you’re sorry
say I’m beautiful

I believe you
motherhood cuts deep
your scars shine

like mine

My Daughter

you’ve inherited broken glass
jagged-edged shattered dreams
that are not yours 

I tried smoothing them
with cold ocean waves
deep muddy lake dives
but they still cut

you don’t believe me
because fresh wounds sting
lines etched into softness
but I see you

I’m proud of you 
I’m sorry
you are beautiful

Mother’s Day isn’t an easy day for many, but I hope today you find solace in knowing motherhood binds us more than separates us. We all come from birth. We all are broken. We are all doing our best. May you find a piece of love to hold today and every day.