time isn’t linear at all. broken hearts know this truth. concentric circles might be closer. i drive into the rice fields to see myself riding bareback, kicking up dirt into the water. cranes take flight scared by hoofbeats and hollering— ‘your eyes can be so cruel, just as i can be so cruel.’ vultures watch me traveltime, hissing ‘you don’t belong here anymore.’ i know. circling, i turn back.
warm sunlight trapped in golden stalks sits so pretty within pottered glass. bright cinnamon dances honeyed by walnuts. it smells like sprinkled brown sugar tiny silver spoons chubby neck rolls wooden high chairs. bring me wholeness— blue sky comfort thick sweet memory.
sadness takes residence inside my bones sometimes. it drives tiny sharp stakes deep into marrow before releasing its large grey tent. i don’t notice until the fires start and thick smoke takes my breath away. no. not again.
reaction isn’t quick—no flashing lights or loud sirens. instead, i silently wait for dancing girl to wake. press needle onto vinyl. stretch. sing. call. dreamily she’ll arrive amid bubbles, swirls, golden light. sadness doesn’t stand a chance.
Note: I don’t always remember the power of movement, but once the music starts my body does. This poem and photos were created as part of the “What Moves You?” challenge. Thank you Michele Lee of My Inspired Life for your continued support of my healing journey. I can’t wait to read all the moving posts.
wandering quietly into morning sun fluffy-puffed tail held high he jumps, greeting my hand— dear old stranger/neighbor cat
friends, I suppose, two strays looking simply for some comfort purring for a brief moment before saying goodbye once more
Note: I’m accepting a challenge to write thirty short poems (not in a row, just as they come). I’m defining short as no more than two stanzas. I was inspired by the beautiful work of my friend Neil—check out his incredible 30 poems. I’m also inspired by sceadugenga who always amazes me with his genius brevity. Feel free to join the challenge if you like.
Edited:A brilliant poet, David, mentioned to me that stanzas can be very long and he’s correct. I’ve changed the guidelines to be under 60 words instead of two stanzas. I think word count is an excellent way to measure these tiny/short/micro/baby poems. Thanks!
if I am storm clouds rolling across the horizon fluffy and pregnant you are a hungry plant waiting to grow from my gentle release
if I am driftwood carried through the moving waves slimy and hallowed out you are a small child building a fairytale castle from my bones
if I am a weed dying in the sun drained and tired you are a wild bird pulling me free to line your nest
if I am muddy water pooling near the shore unclear and ugly you are a vast undercurrent diluting my darkness until I can see
if I am a rock on the lake bottom lost and afraid you are a sea monster pocketing me as your good luck charm
if I am teardrops falling down soft freckled cheeks hurting and remembering you are a golden light reflecting your beauty into my broken heart
NOTE: This poem was inspired by reading fellow poet and friend Neil Reid’s poem “if I Am.” Both our poems are influenced by Derek DelGaudio’s “In & Of Itself.” You can watch it on Hulu if you’re interested. It’s magic.
With callooh quickness sidestepping his blade I cry out “nobody outgrabe’s me”— Gimble circles me.
Eyes locked together two lost-raths in the night frabjous moon laughs— Gimble sees me.
Beamishly he stares eyes dripping tears remembering our love gyre kisses lost— Gimble flees me.
Trailing behind him whiffling white fluff swirls softly around my tulgey toes— Gimble forsakes me.
Again. Coward.
Note: This poem uses neologisms found in Lewis Carroll’s famous Jabberwocky poem and was started as an assignment for a poetry class I took from M. Todd Gallowglas last weekend. It’s got a bit of a different tone than I usually write and I’d love to know what you think. Thank you!
Bradbury calls upon writers to “go panther-pawed where all the mined truths sleep.” Lately, I’ve been rather horse-like; clip-clopping through knee-high weeds which itch, burning my skin toward a fake sunset. “Wake up, dummy,” I say each morning, but somehow my eyes don’t hear. Instead, I close them tighter; stumble, trip across briar patches again and again. “Wake up,” the bluejay mock calls while diving beak first at my lips. I kiss away pain by pressing my palms hard across thin eyelids so I can’t see even a tiny speck of light. If I don’t look maybe they will go away. But then the doves sing from their nest. Tiny white eggs might be under them now; new life waiting for a chance to dive and fall from branches into an uncertain world of cats and clovers. “What if I do open my eyes when I sleep?” I ask rabbit jumping across my yard. His ears twitch which means he hears me. He knows plenty truths, I think. Maybe I can hop wildly like him.
Note: The poem I’m referring to appears in “Zen in the Art of Writing,” by Ray Bradbury. It’s called “Truths Sleep.” The photo is of our pet rabbit named Bun-Bun.
i’ve been to this beach before but i’m thinking of that one time when i cried into the wind begging spirits to save my trapped soul and something answered. not mermaid
goddesses wrapped in shimmery light, but a sea hag draped in foggy sadness. “you want out?” she hissed through cracked lips. i nodded feeling the air leave my lungs. slippery
quick, an eel through water, my knees buckled as knarled hands placed a rotted seaweed crown upon my matted hair. “i deserve nothing but pain,” i managed to say. manic
laughter roaring with the waves, calling me a liar. red-bearded pirates pointed rusty blades at my pale neck. i ran. and ran. for years. and years. jellyfish growing fat
within my belly. sharp spiny barnacles grow under my breasts and between my thick thighs. ice forming heavy around my heart, protecting soft starfish memories from spilling. but now
oh now
my seaweed crown is slipping. walking in my old footsteps, i sing “you are special” under my breath wondering if i believe. a lilting voice joins mine and I follow
into a narrow rocky cave. here a siren gently whispers seashell songs which vibrate through my body, rocking me like golden sunset waves. warm fingers find my face. “you are
loved,” she sings. “time to forgive yourself.” salty tears fall from hazel eyes as slimy seaweed slips onto the cold sandy ground. i see not her beautiful garments nor her
phosphorescent glow, but feel her spinning me around. and around. strong hands pluck hardened crusty foulers from my body and smashes them hard onto the uneven stone walls. powder turns
powerful. light burns brighter. i shudder as the foggy vines the sea witch weaved deep within me unwind faster. and faster. healing. releasing. forgiving. without a word, the siren leaves.
lavender flowers fall around me. “goodbye” i say under the golden sky. four sandpipers watch me walk across the beach. lighter. they don’t run but i do. time starts again.
sandpiper friends.my cave.the view looking out from the inside of the cave. do you see the siren?
Note: I celebrated my birthday today by spending hours wandering the beach taking photos and writing poetry. I hope you enjoy this poem of healing and that it helps you too.
The song I was singing is “Special” by Lizzo. Watch the music video. It will do your heart some good.
he climbs tall swaying trees all the way to the top. i eat handfuls of unsalted almonds with bites of banana while reading book after book. sun-kissed, my toes press into the soft green grass. freckled shoulders out. “hi mom,” he calls. i wave back all smiles. my naive trust easily covers fear. i lean into
full moons, rainbow wishes, fairy protectors. i believe my love will shield him from harm. but it doesn’t. once. and then twice. i drink sugary coffee in hospital rooms while staring at tiny bright screens. shoulders slumped. “hi mom,” he calls beneath many bloody bandages. with a fake smile i tell him everything will
be okay. home. darkness. healing comes. i sneak candy nightly hoping it will shrink fear. it doesn’t. my body swells. aches. i pull away from everyone. hiding panic with manic activity. secretly building giant blame barriers. “hi mom,” he calls but i don’t hear him. i don’t want to. walls protect right? but i am lonely in my padded
cell. sunshine bursts through swaying trees. they miss him too. but fear stopped the climbing. we circle each other arguing. forgetting nose kisses but not bloody faces. time moves so fast. too fast. his blue cap and gown sits on my dresser. “hi mom,” he says. i listen. we eat seedy crackers while our shoulders touch. can trust regrow after fear?
Note: I’m attempting to use poetry as part of my healing process. I will return to short stories and the Shoebox Poetry series soon. Thank you for reading and supporting me during this transition time. It’s long overdue.