freedom used to be yellow. simple like holding my grandmother’s hand in the church pews on sunday. simple like the ribbons we tied around the thick bark of the trees, waiting for the soldiers to come home.
maybe that is why i still like parades. the heavy hooves of the horses, the bright brass of marching bands, the gleam of old cars, bubbles floating in the summer air. i want it to be yellow again.
but knowledge changes all the colors. i cannot pretend anymore. it does not mean what it used to.
some people choose the blindness of yellow. some people see the truth.
4/100 For the next 100 days, I’ll be writing and posting a poem every day. I hope you’ll follow along.
sweet girl, when those fast feet dance outside the library to music living inside your bones, and my screen glows awake to swallow the moment, do you know it’s the years i’m holding? you, right now— a bright flash of wild curly hair saved for later.
you call out “gigi dance” and I do, because my tired body wants to always remember what it feels to move with you. your small hand guiding my heavier bones.
we play, talk, and say hi to our oak tree, but it’s when we sing together and you press your head into my chest before climbing into your big girl bed, i feel the new weight of your lengthening limbs.
3/100 For the next 100 days, I’ll be writing and posting a poem every day. I hope you’ll follow along.
cars zoom past to anywhere but here, each carrying someone’s entire world. bees swarm inside my chest, heavy and frantic, a hum vibrating beneath my ribs. only my finger moves, pressing each letter into my phone, like sitting years ago in the sand, pushing rocks down as far as they would go. maybe if i press hard enough now it will reach you. a little gift from my hand to yours. a single bee let loose across the distance. do you see the sun cutting through the leaves too? does the air taste like honey there? i need everything to be okay, for you, for us.
clouds streak white, smudges in pale blue. buzzing slows to a quiet ache.
i just need to hear you say— it’s all going to be okay. one more thread for us.
2/100 For the next 100 days, I’ll be writing and posting a poem every day. I hope you’ll follow along.
within chest, flowers climb worry weavers, petals purple down drooping, up growing Valkyrie songs, deep humming no, deeper reach another another one more press fingers together pollen falls, tight places explodes out, spreads green shrugs we know nothing
I’ve taken another leap forward in my creative journey and self-published my first book. I’ve spent the last few months rewriting every story, working with a book cover artist, figuring out how to format a book, and taking on each challenge as it presented itself—and there were many! I had no idea what this journey would look like, and although I’m still in the weeds of doing new things, I’m ready to share it with you.
I’m thrilled and grateful to present my debut book, Watering Words: 52 Short Stories.
Isn’t it beautiful! The official release date is April 27, but you canpre-order it now! What you get if you pre-order:
Autographed copy of the book
Bookmark with links to a photo collage and Spotify playlist for all 52 stories
A printed and autographed copy of an additional story not in the book titled Through the Glass Windshield
A portion of my book sales will go to support my favorite nonprofit, G.I.R.L.S. Rock Sacramento. My daughter attended their camps for eight years, and it changed her life. Please, check them out and consider a donation. Right now, more than ever, we need organizations helping girls find their voice.
If you ARE local, you can also attend my book release partyat 1 p.m. on Sunday, April 27 at A Seat of the Table Books in Elk Grove, California. Not only is this my favorite independent bookstore, but they strive to create a “place that is safe and affirming for all identities.” Seriously, I’ve never felt so comfortable in any store. They’re tremendous supporters of local authors and will carry my book on their shelves.
Did you catch that? My book will be IN A BOOKSTORE. {Pinch me}
Now, what’s this book all about? Readers of my blog will recognize most of these stories from the writing challenge I did two years ago, but they’ve all undergone extensive rewriting and editing. Here’s the blurb from the back cover of the book:
The Blinking Day arrives for a mother after she drops her kids off at school. A starving child follows a rabbit to a house of candy. Orange trees kill a father. An alien must learn one true thing. A girl wants to be a fish tank. An old couple paints with blood. Apple stars unlock memories. Goldilocks gets what’s coming to her.
Written over one year, Bridgette Kay’s debut collection crosses genres and time as it explores the complexities of being human. With a unique ability to capture deep emotion, she tells fictional stories through the lens of lived truth. Read one story a week or devour them all at once. Your next favorite adventure starts now.
For a sneak peak at the stories, check out my Instagram
Real talk. This post feels big and scary. While I’m excited to have this book in the world, it also comes with all the insecurities and fear of being a creative. Will people buy it? If they do, will they read it? If they do, will they like it? I’ve had many moments over the last few months where I’ve said, “I’m not ready for this.” I’m not. I’ll never be.
There’s a creative on Instagram I love named Amie McNee. She just published a book titled We Need Your Art: Stop Messing Around and Make Something. I’ve got a copy beside me as I type this, and I keep flipping through and reading her words. “Imposter Syndrome is a clear sign from the universe that you’ve leveled up, baby.” “Other people will have made art similar to your art. It’s not a cause for panic. It isn’t a threat. It’s proof of market. There’s room for you.” “Nothing truly wonderful is made without first being a little bit cringe.” Her words are exactly what I need to read right now. Thank you, Amie.
It feels cringe to ask you to buy my book. It feels scary to say I’m proud of myself. But, I’m saying both. I finally finished a creative project and I’m going to let myself celebrate.
If you are considering self-publishing, starting a blog, or any act of creativity—go for it! I’ve got people coming up to me excited about my book. A friend posted on FB, “You are bringing light into the world, light that will help me on my way. Congratulations!” and another said “Just the best thing ever!!! And it’s about time!” How cool is that?
We need art right now. Make your art. Use your voice. We need you.
And buy my book. It will look pretty on your bookshelf 🙂
After years of regularly posting and commenting here, I think I’ve reached a place of burnout. I haven’t been fully present like I used to be. It’s not fun.
To get myself out of this slump, and at the advice of my wonderful writer’s group, I’ve decided to self-publish my 52 short stories into a collection available by Christmas. Having a physical book, my book, in my hands will be a dream come true. I need this to move forward.
In the meantime, thank you to those who continue to show up and cheer me on. Your comments are what keeps me going. I hope you’ll consider ordering a copy when it’s available. I can’t even tell you what that would mean. I’m giddy thinking of it.
While I do the hard work of making it happen, here are some photos from my recent road trip. Let me know if you have a favorite and have a fantastic week.
#1#2#3#4#5#6#7#8#9#10#11#12#13#14, my friend’s dog Paris. Isn’t she the cutest!#15, self-portrait
As always, all photos were taken by me with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW.
what if i stay this way half-closed half-open will bees still drink my nectar sipping indecision fear shame burrowing where pets lay buried again bleeding nail beds soil filled with salt or must i open anyway light bright bird food nourishing what if i am
Bridgette Tales 