i’m thinking of birds
flying into the blue.
sky and waves. not
last night’s takeout
staring at me.
turn the heating
pad even higher.
shift. shift. shift.
watch another murder
mystery. blink.
dozens of prisms
scatter broken light
across striped chairs.
missing another meeting.
dodging another call.
drink more water.
another handful of pills.
swallow the dust.
look out.
four of them.
i stack the sky vertically, holding
space for falling words, but summer
heat traps crooked letters, twisting
type for tiny starlings to feast—pecking
pesky verbs, spitting harsh consonants
onto parched summer grass. he
said ‘imagine that’ and ‘birds like
nests,’ so i scurry and scrawl every tree,
gathering orphaned lettered pieces of you,
to anchor my pillow as ink-black night
bleeds with barely a moon. quiet, listen
to the nothing of my whispering breath
as soft feathers fold the dark—
with a tiny click.
As you may remember, I’m doing photography for the #100DayProject. This means, every single day for 100 days I’m out taking photos, editing them, and sharing them with my friends. In addition, I’ve started doing photography sessions for people I know. I’ve done three senior sessions, a family shoot, and several portraits.
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I came back from Las Vegas on a night with a full moon and a total lunar eclipse. The event known as the Blood Moon. Despite setting an alarm, I couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed. I woke up in a panic at 6 a.m., raced to a local park, and then discovered I had the wrong lens.
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Despite a hard week, I rose early yesterday, faced the rain, and spent two hours in a nearby park capturing bird photos. Creeping through the grass without a sound, tucking my camera into my rain jacket for safekeeping during downpours, and focusing only on the birdsong offered unexpected joy. It’s comforting watching the world through a lens, away from anything but the sounds of nature.
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I’m trying to use my camera’s manual mode more, but it’s not going well. The night of the last full moon, I went to the lake and left in tears. The lighting wasn’t good, and the moon hid behind the clouds. Every image was a mess.
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A crane sat staring at the moon. I couldn’t stop my van to take its picture because several cars were behind me, but I saw how it lifted its elegant white neck to show reverence. A few minutes later I found a spot to pull over and startled a field of crows who took off noisily, letting me know I’d disturbed their quiet sunrise.
My camera helped me worship the full corn moon, to capture it sitting on branches and bobbing between power lines. I was struck by how much of an outsider I was to this scene, but also how much I long to remember my connection to all things.
As the bright moon faded into the blue morning, the sun took over the sky. It blinked over the horizon blinding me temporarily, and my eyes fell on the plastic Superman dangling from my rearview mirror and it reminded me I’m doing my best. We all are.
“That is where you’ve always been wrong about me, Lex. I am as human as anyone. I love, I-I get scared. I wake up every morning, and despite not knowing what to do, I put one foot in front of the other, and I try to make the best choices that I can. I screw up all the time, but that is being human, and that’s my greatest strength. And someday, I hope, for the sake of the world, you understand that it’s yours too.”
—Superman
Let me know if you have a favorite photo and I hope you have a fantastic day.
“And now we welcome the new year. Full of things that have never been.”—Rainer Maria Rilke
It’s been a season of reading books, doing puzzles, snuggling under blankets, and savoring the warmth of my home. Big goals and plans are on the horizon, but right now I’m moving slowly and feeling fully into where I am at this moment.
Thank you to everyone who has read my blog this year despite my sporadic and inconsistent pattern. It’s been a year of tremendous highs and lows. I am mourning loss and also feeling incredibly blessed for new people who have come into my life.
May your New Year’s Eve and all next year swirl with beauty, love, peace, and hope.
I’m glad you are here.
Last week I spent time recharging and writing in a beautiful house on Cobb Mountain. My creative, giving, and loving friends helped me figure out the title of the short story book I’ll be self-publishing in April. I wrote the introduction and edited several stories. They were invaluable in listening to me rattle on about my dreams and fears.
In this tumultuous time in America, it felt good to surround myself with strong women. We need each other more now than ever.
“They will want you seated, conformed, and quiet but don’t you dare fit in. Scream the house down if it’s what it will take to make your noise heard. The divine feminine has been shamed and shunned for self-expression for far too long, we aren’t here to silence ourselves anymore.”—Nikki Rowe
As always, all photos were taken by me with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW. Let me know if you have a favorite and have a wonderful week.
Today the heat subsided and the clouds arrived. I went in search of you. I found sunflowers, pumpkins, cornfields, and a bridge. You peeked out for a minute from the clouds but then ran from me. That’s okay. I don’t need to see you to love you.
Because I’m still in love with you
I wanna see you dance again
Because I’m still in love with you
On this harvest moon
—Neil Young
I visited Bishop’s Pumpkin Farm with visions of taking a photo of the full moon over a cornfield, but the clouds didn’t cooperate. Instead, I had a lovely evening with my mom. I hope you enjoy these images and let me know if you have a favorite. As always, all photos were taken by me with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW.
Bridgette Tales 