Good enough

It wasn’t as I rehearsed it in my head. 555957_10200772687340371_1502702807_n

Well, the first part was. Nerves. I changed my clothes ten times. Still unsure as I dropped the kids off at my moms. Maybe I should have worn the blue skirt. Checking my makeup. Not sure if it looks OK. Knowing a camera will be pointed at me. People will look at me. People will hear me. Nowhere to hide.

As I drove up I sat in my car for about 10 minutes. I shouldn’t have had coffee. The jitters were huge. The whatifs were in the car with me. I forced the door open and started to walk toward the building. I saw a familiar face. A smile. OK. I’m here.

We headed across the street for the photo shoot. Still unsure. These women all so beautiful. Feelings like I don’t belong. I’m a fraud. I should run for it. They will find me out. I’m not good enough. I’m not good enough. I’m. Not. Good. Enough.

Then it’s time to face the camera. Sit here. Beautiful, she says. Turn your head this way. Broken doll arms. Push out your neck like a turtle. Stand like this. Arms here. Beautiful, she says again. And then it’s over.

I walk into the building. I see my name card. I’m by a window. These women are amazing. That much is clear in about 10 seconds. They are so alive and present and they suck me in. I’m with them. I’m one of them.

Then the stories begin. Each one is like a little gift that slowly unwraps for us all. I’m moved beyond words. Transported. Changed.

When I read mine, I’m so nervous that I barely look up. Uncertain. Naked. Blessed.

The stories continue. They feed my soul and drain it at the same time.

The day ends. We eat pizza. Laugh. Talk. Share.

I don’t want to hide anymore. Take me in. Love me. I’m open. I am good enough. That’s right. I. Am. Good. Enough.

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26 thoughts on “Good enough

  1. You are absolutely beautiful…as was your story…as was the softness in your eyes when I nervously took my seat in front of you….welcoming me. You are so much more than good enough my new friend. I’m glad YOU are starting to see what I am certain everyone else already does.

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    • Your words have filled me with such joy. Thank you. Your story touched me in such a deep way that I struggle to explain it. I am so grateful that you were across from me. I’m happy and honored to know you.

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  2. Woo hoo!! This post just fills me up like you don’t even know, Bridgette. And yeah, the turtle thing – hee hee! You are so much a part of this and we are so grateful to have you. Every single one of you. You are a rock star, and don’t you forget it.

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  3. Bridgette: Woo hoo!! This post just fills me up like you don’t even know, Bridgette. And yeah, the turtle thing – hee hee! You are so much a part of this and we are so grateful to have you. Every single one of you. You are a rock star, and don’t you forget it.

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  4. Oh, I am all teary! I know exactly what you mean…having been there just one year ago. You will be amazing and fabulous and MORE than good enough. Can’t wait to meet you and clap loudly!

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  5. Bridgette you are an amazing person….mother, friend, writer…. This piece totally made me tear up because of the vulnerability you share. You do an awesome job at everything you set out to do and I am sure this will be no exception.

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  6. Hi Bridgette – you captured so beautifully what I too felt at our first rehearsal – “They feed my soul and drain it at the same time.” I loved reading this post. I’ll be in the Providence show. So much of what you wrote rings so true for me as well. Thank you!

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  7. Surely you already know what a Goddess you are. No? Then let me say it so you will hear, know and never forget. You are a Goddess ! Powerful and strong and your words change the world and I am honored and proud to stand beside you.

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  8. Pingback: Love Letter To The Truth Tellers | All of Me…Now

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