by

poetry: unfurled

what if i stay
this way
half-closed     half-open
will bees still drink
my nectar     sipping
indecision     fear     shame
burrowing where pets
lay buried      again 
bleeding nail beds     soil
filled with salt
or must i open
anyway      light bright
bird food      nourishing
what if      i am

46 thoughts on “poetry: unfurled”

    • I think you are very right. I have a default of thinking things have to be all or nothing, black or white. The older I get the more nuanced it all seems and the greater my capacity to hold many truths to be true at once.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  5. Wow. or maybe Yikes! Your poem runs on the edge of being raw and dangerous. I love those qualities. Poems needn’t shout, but neither should they always be polite or neat. I believe a little bite in the lions mouth is good for us. But that’s a challenge for us, even when it’s us writing it. Huh?

    I am honored to be your writing friend.

    And not because it’s something I’ve come to often use, but the wider in-line phrase spacing you use effectively – and show to me more clearly what I like about that process. A comma could mean the same, however, a comma is a small thing on the page, thus requires full attentive cooperative effort from the reader, else risk being ignored (whew..). A physical space however is direct and unavoidable. It is an explicit expression of the implicit comma. Thanks for letting me see that understanding.

    This is what a good poem can and should be – adventurous.

    Question – last two lines, what about, “what if (spaces) I am” (no ? mark) Might that more touch the reader? Wonderful job Bridgette.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • How kind and thoughtful you always are with me! Thank you for seeing what I was trying to do here and making me feel better about the effort. I rather love your advice for altering those last lines and have done so. I often have trouble with the last lines and wasn’t 100 precent satisfied with what I had landed on. You saw what I was trying to say and helped me tighten it up even more.

      How wonderful for my poem to be called raw and adventurous. What more could a writer want? You are my ideal reader 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  11. Bridgette,☺️ once again you poem pulls me into your world, a flower is a beautiful thing. sometimes its beauty going unoticed as it is opening, we have all got to open sometime and face our fears,once opened our world becomes whole and it’s then we realise that love is always there.thanks for sharing ☺️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • I’ve found the older I get the more I wished I had opened up fully earlier in life. It would have saved me a lot of pain to not stay closed for the comfort of other people.

      Like

      Reply

  17. there is no difference
    in opened or closed
    you are magic
    unfurled or cloaked
    you are beauty
    raised from salt and phosphorus and nitrogen
    phyllotaxis of glory and tragedy and blood and history
    you are celebrated

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  18. Hey, thought you might like this—I’m hosting a low-key poetry contest, and it’s a bit of a mystery. I think your style would be perfect for it. Want to join in and see where your words can take you?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Leave a comment