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Photography: Feeling Lost

 “Never. We never lose our loved ones. They accompany us; they don’t disappear from our lives. We are merely in different rooms.” — Paulo Coelho

Such a lovely quote and sentiment to think those who leave us are simply in another room we can’t quite get to right now. The last few weeks have been busy and emotional. I’m feeling zapped of my creative energy and blurry in all things.

I’ve continued to write and publish, but it feels as if I’m doing so from deep inside a watery abyss. Everything feels muted and my movements heavy. It’s also terribly hot outside with a predicted high temperature of 113 today. It makes it hard to want to do anything.

My photos this week are from a drive around the neighborhood. I pulled over when I saw things of interest; an amusing sign at the self-carwash, an abandoned dance center, power lines, and nature. Let me know if you have a favorite. I’m also curious how you refill your creative bucket when it starts to feel depleted. I’m open to all your ideas. Thank you!

  • Photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW.

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51 thoughts on “Photography: Feeling Lost”

  3. “I’m also curious how you refill your creative bucket when it starts to feel depleted”
    I don’t do anything! I wait to feel inspired.
    Sorry about your loss, we are never prepared to lose a loved one.
    The heat brings lots of negative thoughts, insecurity about the future, and inconvenience. Yesterday was a holiday and mostly I worried about power outages. I walked outside and almost baked like a thanksgiving turkey!

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    • I’m looking forward to the cool weather, John. I keep telling myself the same thing and I’m grateful for AC. Bring on the pumpkins and fall leaves!

      Yes, the person who hastily spray-painted the sign spelled “from” wrong. I imagine it was after cleaning out all the sand from the drains one too many times and they did it out of exhaustion or perhaps anger. It struck me as funny though as I live in a very non-Burning Man type town. It also feels a little anti-Burning Man to be washing your car…or maybe that’s simply my own take on it.

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  6. I tend to use daily prompts, but that doesn’t always work for everybody. Either vss365 or a dictionary’s word of the day. Or drawing three runes or three tarot cards. I sometimes just write “I can’t think of anything to write” over and over until my brain gets bored with that noise and writes something.

    Good luck. Hugs.

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  7. My internet (or lack there of) is being annoying today because I finally got your post to come up but I can’t see your images right now. I did however get a chance to read what you had to say and I’ve been there so I have (in my opinion) some pretty solid advice. Ready to hear it? Take some time off. Give yourself a week or two so you can find a sense of balance again. Make sure you have an end date but when you are wading through loss it’s a trauma and your brain needs time to find a new normal. It’s better and healthier to do that than it is to force yourself to be creative. In the time you’re gone… Brainstorm your feelings and a project that might help you find your way back. I’ve had to do this soooo many times and not listening to my needs left me completely burnt out and lacking joy in both photography and writing. There’s no time limit on pain however you need to tell yourself a date because otherwise you may never get back to it or you’ll skip several months, burn out will make you want to quit all together. That’s my advice. Take a break 💔 you need it.

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    • I set a goal of 52 short stories for the year and I really want to make it. It’s an important challenge I’ve given myself and I don’t want to let it go. The other things, poetry and photography, could take a rest though. I’m trying to be gentle with myself but also know that pushing through can be good too. It’s finding the right balance-it always comes back to that doesn’t it? Balance in all things.

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  9. Wow, that’s hot! Your solution for photographing as you drove around is beautiful!

    I think you deserve to be fuzzy around the edges. But when I feel creatively depleted, I find play to be restorative. Trying for things I haven’t done before or things I don’t care about the outcome. And reading.

    Wishing you a cooler week and a deep well of restoration!

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    • Isn’t that sign hilarious! I hope you find something to help refill your creative bucket soon. I’m trying lots of things, but I think mostly I need to give myself grace during this time of grief.

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  12. Great depth and detail in your photography.

    I love this quote since the passing of a loved one often leaves us inconsolable.

    It is understandable how you feel in that abyss. I get overwhelmed often and too tired to keep up with things. And the fog creates a feeling of dissociation for me.

    To get back to my “creativity”, I step away from it and either sleep or just do something totally different.

    Thinking of you. ♥️

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  14. Nature walks usually refuel my creative tank. I try to show up anyway at my projects and not to guilt myself for not being ‘productive’. It’s ebb and flow. Love the photo of the trees. Sorry for your loss, never easy.

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    • Thank you so much, Rosemary. I tried to spend some time in my yard this morning but it was already nearing 85 at 7 a.m. I keep reminding myself the grief will ease and so will this terrible heat wave.

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  15. This breaks my heart. My daughter entered those doors a toddler and left almost a decade later as a graceful and lovely ballerina. Magic happened inside those doors and shaped her life, heart and body. These sting. 💔

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    • I’m sorry these pictures hurt and I can imagine it’s hard to see a place you loved turned into what it is now. Do you know why it’s covered in red x’s? Each time we drive by it looks so ominous and strange.

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  16. Agreed. I’m dealing with a recent loss as well. I like being alone in nature, being still with God. It helps me be aware of the power of unconditional love. It’s an interesting balance the intermingling of grief and healing. I remind myself to feel the sadness but also release it. Both are needed to keep moving forward. Hope (in time) will dissipate the sadness, but that connection will always remain, it’ll just be different now. I like to imagine what my loved one would say to me as well. It’s always words that build me up and give me strength. Eyes up. (And sometimes I just look for something funny or cute online as moments of laughter and smiles are healing to the soul). May you find strength in what lifts your soul and spirit. 💛

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    • I am sorry for your recent loss. You are so right, the grief comes and goes. We all have to find ways to feel and move through it in the ways that work for us. I love thinking of conversations as well, it’s very comforting. Sending you hugs.

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  18. Hi Bridgette. I like them all. Faves are the purple door with ‘OK’, and the background moon against the crossed trees/poles.
    It’s been hot here, too, uncomfortably so. I try and fill my ‘creative bucket’ by switching between whatever pursuits tickle my fancy. One day photos, the other poems and stories, the next some reading or tunes. Nothing gets chance to run dry as such, and mostly works 😎
    Ford

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  19. I’m sorry I’m so late getting to your post, Bridgette. I’m way behind. How are you coping with your loss? I know it’s very early days still, and you will be, no doubt, feeling quite raw and sensitive. It takes time to heal, but you’ll get there when the time is right. Is it still scorching there? I hope it’s cooled off a bit since you wrote this post.

    I love your photographs. I’ve never heard of Burning Man, so I had to Google it to see what it was about. I like the purple door marked OK. Doors fascinate me – there are so many different types, and I often wonder what goes on behind them. Although there’s no one living behind that door, as far as I know, I wonder what tales it could tell. I also like the way you’ve captured the tree as a silhouette in your other photo. Trees are another passion of mine, so I found that picture interesting, too. Thanks for sharing them here.

    I’m thinking of you in your grief and sending you comfort, warmth and healing … Ellie xx 🦢💗🌻

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    • Hi Ellie. Thank you so much for your kind words. Since the memorial things have been a little easier. As I’m sure you know, grief comes in waves. The holidays will be hard without her, but we will band together tightly and remember her with her favorite traditions and food. She won’t be forgotten anytime soon.

      After a record 44 days over 100 degrees, we have a break today with a cloudy day in the 80s. It’s really beautiful and such a nice break.

      I too am fascinated by doors. The purple door with the X is a dance studio which closed its doors. I don’t know if it’s been graffitied or if something happend. It’s quite odd.

      Thank you again for your kind words. I appreciate them so much.

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