we watch the water hold tight
rope swings, we jump high
rise like lilacs, like waves, like space
ship rocks, sways, we tumble
weeds snare, we stare at sun
shine within, soft skin, we whirl
pool glows, grows, lacks sense
less we see, less we know—a flash
back to life, hands catch cold rain
bow tied neatly around bold moon
light dances, our souls wonder
land a kiss upon my lips, our hour
glass turns, we say goodnight
Author’s note: Each line in this poem ends with the start of a compound word. You can either read the poem line by line or you can read those words combined—tightrope, highrise, spaceship, etc. Let me know what you think.
Also liking that this makes me wonder what if goodnight is the start of a compound word, what could or would be that compound word, and what if the end of that unknown compound word is in a dream and can only exist in a dream (at least for now). Intriguing poem that can feel like teleportation and time travel.
You are so kind. Thank you! I thought about ending it with just good (leaving the night unsaid) but I like what it conjured up for you. Perhaps it is the start of another word to be finished in dreamland. I really like that.
The piece speaks of rising and falling, when I read through out loud (to find a rhythm) I found my enunciation rose and fell on the linking words. I think this would work really well on one line too.
Thank you so much for that observation. I’m still really new at poetry and I read it out loud many times changing the words to find a rhythm I liked, but you are right. I wonder if you wouldn’t mind giving me an example of what you’d change?
Far from it I really enjoyed the waves of how it sounded spoken. I wouldn’t change a syllable. What I meant by one line was if the whole poem were stretched to fit on one line, like links in a chain
Oh! I totally misunderstood. Thank you. Yes, I think you are right. I like the way it sounds when those compound words are reunited and kept together.
wonderful writing
You are always so kind. Thank you.
You’re so welcome, thank you for sharing your writing 😀
How clever! 🙂🌻
What a lovely written you.
So interested words use in. light dances, our souls wonder
land a kiss upon my lips, our hour
glass turns, we say goodnight.
I’m glad you liked it. Thank you.
Thank you!
You are most welcome 💐!
You are most welcome, Bridgette. 🙂🌻
Wonderfully woven poem, I love the thoughtful creation with the compound words 💖
Thank you! I think perhaps I spent a bit too much time on finding a way to make that format work that it lacks a bit of heart. It’s all part of the learning process.
Yesss dear Friend. I can see the efforts put in there 👍💛
Pardon. I told you. You understand. The picture is the better rendering of you – and That is who I care about. You, more than words. You know.
I do know.
Exactly how compression is supposed to work, Bridgette. Nice job.
Thank you very much! I’m glad you liked it.
this is so cool!! i want to try this!! :DDDD
Let me know if you do! It was a fun exercise.
I had to go back through and reread it both ways. It’s brilliant. You’re brilliant. I love this.
You are so kind! Thank you.
An entertaining poem that moves well. Ending a line with part of a compound word and beginning the next line with the rest of the word helped give the poem a pleasant rhythm. It took me a minute to catch on but when I got it, I was taken with this idea of using this approach as a device in creating a poem and, in so doing, giving it an unusual dimension. Writing a poem in this way would be an excellent exercise for a writing class.
Thank you. It would be a great exercise for a writing class! I found it very challenging and therefore I think I got so lost in the mechanics that the poem lacks an emotional core. The real challenge is doing this right and having it hit you in the feels. I’ll keep trying.
Very interesting. I caught a hint of something with …whirl / pool… but didn’t get the whole pattern until I read your description. This is a unique approach.
Thanks. It was a fun exercise in making those words have double meanings. More challenging, I think, would be for it to have more emotion behind it. I’m going to try again.
I look forward to it.
Oh how fun! Rereading it with the compound words gives it a different feel. Beautiful both ways, Bridgette! 💞💞💞
I’m so happy you liked it!
Amazing poem! It reminds me of a night I had it aspen.
Oh, I’d love to hear more about that. Thank you.