
look away
as I blow madly
through your words
rustling assumptions
shifting pride
bending anger
I’m bigger than before
buffeted by light
swaying sideways
not a delicate breeze
I’m a woman

my clenched words released
burn holes in the good pillows
where my mascara ran
where I slept propped up
where you don’t see me
I can’t shapeshift anymore
my grandmother’s lava burns
where hands pressed down
where softness was cut out
where I hit the window
slow my words down
float upon the current
where light seeps in
where questions are pain
where the answer is love

sitting alone travel weary
stirring knitted words together
orange slice floats on top
golden bell chimes three times
crystalized ginger stains
my quiet mouth twitches
bottles watch me in a row
ghost fingerprints pressing hard
water splashes to the floor
bigfoot holds dinosaur bones
alligator swamp man swims
moscow mules brey softly
my ship docked, dried
curtain call, window pane
stained glass owls don’t hoot
baby eagle watches deer
do you see it too? second drink
she says I’m a good mother
silver strands braided back
shadows fall across wood floor
love bares its teeth at me

you are almost obscene
without petals
alien green bulbous body
too many waving yellow arms
yet you appear honest
dare I say brave
once, scared nobody could love me
I did this to a flower
it could have been a relative of yours
a great great great grandflower
I didn’t think about what it wanted
what my actions would change
only if I could be loved
if I could be chosen
I tore each delicate petal off
love me
love me not
until a pink pile lay at my feet
wasted beauty
for something like answers
seeing you now I wonder
what answers you hold
first full and now bare
and why naked truth
still scares me

find me where winter waters flow
honey thick. where ferns weave baskets
cradling colored stones. listen for songs
dripping down cave walls, tiny fairy feet
dancing delicately on crushed shells, soft
foamy voices calling your name. follow
them. do not despair as earthen gravity
releases you. let go. reach through murky
darkness until our fingertips merge. hold
tight as our toes taste stars. I’m beside
you watching our bubbly breath connect
inside and outside. beautifully untethered.

it can look selfish
this way I’m living
looking for love
through a camera lens
through the way my thighs move when I dance
through the way my chest rises when I sing
but it’s survival
like the lone daffodil blooming in January
a waning moon at dawn
the first dandelion puff
the cluster of fuzzy buds on the bare peach tree
we are all looking





in Winter
in all Winters
it lays dormant inside
domed darkness
you walk past it looking nowhere
anywhere, but not there
never there
yet it goes still
growing bedrock feral
mushroom bellied
lichen ferocious
trapping pain web-like
crackling like ice
smelling like bruised desperation
like untouched skin
like hot ash scattered by eroded winds
you don’t need to see
to feel
you walk faster looking nowhere
anywhere, but not there
never there
yet it goes still
like tides
like movement
Spring saplings tap-dancing
on rooted tiptoes
daffodils issuing battle cries
thrusting spears upward
dandelion puffs cooing
dreaming light again
there’s a light somewhere
he says
your nested winds sigh
your meadow grasses rustle
your waters ripple gently
just a bit longer
you tell your forest
hold tight