Light

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Photography: Apple Picking

It’s my favorite time of year—apple picking, pumpkin patches, fun tights, caramel apples, popcorn, beeswax candles and costumes. It’s the time of year I’m happy to linger beneath a tree or chase the setting sun. It’s also a time of change, letting go, and setting new goals.

I won a pitch session with an agent last week, and it didn’t go as planned. In fact, I learned it’s impossible to sell middle-grade novels at the moment and on the fly I pitched my YA novel from years ago. She loved the idea and agreed to read it when it’s ready. I’m proud of how I shifted gears in the moment, with only a brief stumbling of my words, but that story isn’t where my heart is right now. Should I pivot anyway? Is selling my books the goal? What if it takes me another ten years to write anything?

Obviously, this sent me into a creative existential crisis for a few days, but with the help of my incredibly creative friends, I found my way back to the truth. I want to write cool shit that makes me happy. My middle-grade novel is for my daughter. If nobody else reads it, then it’s okay. It’s her story, for her. Maybe when it’s ready the industry might be interested, and maybe not. If I start trying to write what I think will sell, then I’m going to be forever chasing a shadow that’s moving quickly across the ground. No thanks.

So, while I’m forever reinventing myself and changing, I do know wonderful things are happening all around me. I hosted a Halloween party at my home for the first time in years and it was a blast! My talented friend, who I’ve known since her birth, will be releasing her book on Halloween (CHECK IT OUT). I’m making strides toward my new health goals. I just listened to a story that reminded me how much I love twisted fairytales and writing weird things. I’ve got a bowl full of fresh apples on my counter and I cleaned out my garage.

So come with me to the apple orchard. Let’s see how the light hits the apples and hear the crunching of the leaves beneath our feet.

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  • Photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW

Here’s some bnus shots from my iPhone:

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Photography: Dillon Beach

This will be the eighth time I’m sharing photos with you of Dillon Beach, a place I’m lucky enough to visit several times a year. It’s crazy how each visit is a little different. This visit we saw thousands of tiny crabs, met a lot of really sweet dogs, and shared the early mornings with fishermen and surfers.

These photos are for Heidi, as she showed me again how magical this place really is, and for Sephera, for always being my exploring buddy on the beach.

Hope you all enjoy these and let me know if you have a favorite.

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  • These photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW.
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Photography: Little Whale Cove

I took these photos at a private cove near my dad’s house in Oregon last month. While I walked around with my camera, my daughter sat in the sand sifting it for agate. It wasn’t the trip I wanted. My dad was sick, ultimately needing to be transported by ambulance to the hospital. My daughter was about to turn 18, and things between us felt different. Everything felt…off.

As I edited these photos today, I felt all of it again. My dad is okay now, but he uses a walker, and the time for us to have the relationship I’ve always wanted is slipping away. My daughter and I are good. We’ve grown in new ways, but I worry about her all the time. I don’t know how to change things. I don’t know how to be right now.

Hard conversations are sitting inside me, and last night I dreamed they suffocated me, and I woke gasping for air. I couldn’t get back to sleep, anxiety eating at me with sharp teeth.

So, I’m going to take a minute and return to the peacefulness of this beautiful place. Will you join me? Let’s look at how light moves through things, reflecting and illuminating. Tell me, do any of these photos speak to you?

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  • These photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW.
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Photography: May Day

It can be hard right now to think about light streaming through ribbons, flowers, and youthful hearts, but the world still contains all the beautiful things it always has. Let me take you away from the news for a moment as we dance around the May pole and celebrate the spirit of spring. Let me know if you have a favorite photo and have a wonderful day.

“It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart.”
—Rainer Maria Rilke

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  • These photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW.
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Photography: Buck Moon

She walks into the artificial wilderness on unsteady feet and looks around. Nothing seems real. Perhaps she’s fallen. Perhaps she’s dreaming. Perhaps she’s lost her mind. It’s not until she looks up that she finds herself.

“There you are moon,” she says.

The moon says nothing back and she feels better.

“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn’t be. And what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?”
—Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

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The seventh full moon found me feeling lost. I’m surrounded by tough things; sudden death, cancer, money troubles, injury, hurt friendships, and mental health struggles. Those I love are hurting and I feel helpless. So, here we have some photos that aren’t exactly right. They are a bit nonsensical. I hope you like them. Let me know if you have a favorite.

These photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW.

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Photography: Pink Moon

The power of the pink moon wakes me. Stumbling out of bed, I wander barefoot through half-lit rooms looking through distorted glass while my eyes attempt to adjust. What if I let them stay blurry? What if I simply see what’s there? Maybe beauty does exist in the imperfections. The flowers tell me so. I follow the sounds to the beach and surrender.

“Oh moon, I have begun
to envy you
your terrifying
powers”
—Henry Virgin

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The fourth full moon of the year arrived on my birthday while on vacation at Dillion Beach. The moon proved elusive and all my photos turned out distorted. I had no choice but to embrace the imperfections and play with them.

Let me know if you have a favorite. These photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW.

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Photography: Washington Part 2-Shelburne Hotel

On the second night of our trip, we traveled to the historic town of Seaview and stayed at the Shelburne Hotel. You may remember I wrote about our ghost experience in this same hotel last year, and so we were eager to return. Although I’m certain I felt someone gently pressing me down in the clawfoot bathtub, this time our experience was mostly restful.

For me, the beauty of staying at the longest continuously operating hotel in Washington State is the interesting light fixtures and the way the hotel makes you feel like you’ve stepped back in time. I hope you’ll consider staying here if you ever find yourself in the area. Let me know if you have a favorite photo or if something stands out for you. Thanks!

“All the variety, all the charm, all the beauty of life is made up of light and shadow.”
—Leo Tolstoy

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  • These photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW.
  • For booking information, visit the Historic Shelburne Hotel
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poetry: snow cave

in Winter
in all Winters
it lays dormant inside 
domed darkness

you walk past it looking nowhere
anywhere, but not there
  never there

yet it goes still
growing bedrock feral
mushroom bellied
lichen ferocious
trapping pain web-like
crackling like ice
smelling like bruised desperation
like untouched skin
like hot ash scattered by eroded winds 

you don’t need to see
to feel

you walk faster looking nowhere
anywhere, but not there
  never there 

yet it goes still
like tides
like movement 
Spring saplings tap-dancing
on rooted tiptoes
daffodils issuing battle cries
thrusting spears upward
dandelion puffs cooing
dreaming light again
there’s a light somewhere
he says

your nested winds sigh
your meadow grasses rustle
your waters ripple gently

just a bit longer
you tell your forest
  hold tight