She walks into the artificial wilderness on unsteady feet and looks around. Nothing seems real. Perhaps she’s fallen. Perhaps she’s dreaming. Perhaps she’s lost her mind. It’s not until she looks up that she finds herself.
“There you are moon,” she says.
The moon says nothing back and she feels better.
“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn’t be. And what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?” —Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
#1#2#3#4#5#6#7#8#9#10
The seventh full moon found me feeling lost. I’m surrounded by tough things; sudden death, cancer, money troubles, injury, hurt friendships, and mental health struggles. Those I love are hurting and I feel helpless. So, here we have some photos that aren’t exactly right. They are a bit nonsensical. I hope you like them. Let me know if you have a favorite.
These photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW.
You aren’t here with me in these blue woods. I’m alone. Hands hanging loosely at my sides, I track the full moon until it peeks through the dark silhouetted branches. The sky morphs from cold white to warm gold and back again. A breeze blows gently and my skirt dances around my knees. It feels like butterflies and Spring, but it’s still February. Still winter. Snow falls softly in the nearby mountains.
My mind forgets and remembers things as I walk, a circle of thought looping and playing. Soon a song cuts through and clears out everything else. “All this joy, all this sorrow.” Maybe I hummed it then, alone in the woods on the night of the Hunger Moon. The night I was missing you. Maybe you did too.
“We’re both looking at the same moon, in the same world. We’re connected to reality by the same line. All I have to do is quietly draw it towards me.”—Haruki Murakami
#1#2#3#4#5#6#7#8#9#10
This was my second attempt at photographing the full moon this year and it was nearly as frustrating. There were a lot of clouds and I found myself more interested in the trees than the moon. I wonder if I’ll tire of this project or stretch my photography skills further. Time will tell.
Let me know if you like these and if you have a favorite. As is usual, these photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW.
“If it is time that you are talking to Don’t forget the path you are walking through Sudden flare of past might stalk you Never allow moments to mock you” —Munia Khan
This week’s assignment for the 52 photo challenge was to capture a lens flare. Still craving water and a beautiful sunrise, I woke early and drove to Folsom Lake. It was chilly and cold but incredibly peaceful. I hiked for a long time to reach the water’s edge, and then I savored the sound of the waves. If I closed my eyes I could pretend I was still at the ocean.
Not all of these photos stay on topic, but I’m okay with breaking the rules a little bit. Well, I’m trying to be. Let me know if you have a favorite and have a fantastic week.
“People think dreams aren’t real just because they aren’t made of matter, of particles. Dreams are real. But they are made of viewpoints, of images, of memories and puns and lost hopes.”—Neil Gaiman
This week’s assignment for the 52 photo challenge was to take an analog photograph. You could either use a film camera or you could edit your photos to look as if you did. Not wanting to worry about finding film and having it developed, I opted for the editing option.
These photos are special to me because they were taken during a writing retreat in Tahoe last weekend. It was three days of deep connection, fireside chats, and being seen. I’m grateful for my writing community and for the power of vulnerability.
“A lake is a landscape’s most beautiful and expressive feature. It is Earth’s eye; looking into which the beholder measures the depth of his own nature.” —Henry David Thoreau
This week my assignment for the 52 photo challenge was to capture water. My daughter and I visited Folsom Lake at sunset on a chilly Thursday. We spent about three hours wandering, sitting on rocks, and taking in the healing nature of being near a large body of water. It had rained all day and we lucked out when a ray of sunlight burst through the clouds.
Let me know what photo you think I should submit this week for the challenge and if you have an overall favorite. Have a wonderful week!
#1#2#3#4#5#6#7#8#9#10#11My spot on the top of a rock.
Photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW
If you want to join the 52 Photo Challenge, you can find all the information at nicolesy.com
“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”-Roy T. Bennett
Welcome to the fourth week of my #100DayProject. Before we get to the watercolors, I want to share with you a moment of self-discovery I had this morning while journaling. Although I’ve had similar “aha” moments in the past, this time it feels a bit deeper. Maybe you’ll relate.
As a parent we want our kids to have the very best lives. We want them to thrive and be happy. Both my kids are struggling. My son still deals with the effects of two major accidents and my daughter has serious mental health struggles. This has taken from my kids “normal” teenage milestones like getting their driver’s license or attending prom. The picture I had of their teenage years is nothing like what we are experiencing and it breaks my heart. I often don’t know what to do.
These feelings have led me to internalize the belief that their struggles are entirely my fault. I tell myself that if I was a “better” mother they wouldn’t be facing such obstacles. I blame myself so deeply for everything that it’s become a catalyst for self-destructive behavior. I’m not eating right or caring for my body. I’m not nurturing my marriage or my friendships. I’m not even writing like I was.
I keep trying to restart everything, but I can’t seem to do it. This is where the big “aha” happened for me this morning. The reason I’m failing is I’ve decided I deserve to be punished. I failed as a mother and therefore I deserve to be miserable. After all, how can I be happy if my children are not? How can I continue to pursue my dreams when my kids are hurting? Isn’t that selfish? Isn’t that wrong?
Of course, it’s not. I need to lead my family by example. Taking care of my body and meeting my goals will inspire my family and give me more energy to face everything. Allowing the weight of the world to press me down doesn’t help anyone. It seems like such a simple thing to realize, but at the same time, it feels enormous. I’m not sure how to translate this into action yet, but it feels like a wobbly step in the right direction.
Now, let’s talk about watercolor! This week I focused on happiness and light—things I’m seeking to call into my life again. My painting time has become a great counterbalance to the heavy stuff I’ve been processing in my journal. My skill level has remained the same, but I’m okay with that. Right now it’s not about growth—it’s about survival and joy.
I’d love to know if you can relate to my story or have a favorite painting or haiku. Thanks for following my blog and for always cheering me on. Happy Wednesday!
#1 magical forest dancing brightly in my dreams help me stand taller
#2 golden shiny sun deep within my mystic core heal my broken heart
#3 budding shamrock luck shimmy shimmy sway and shake boogie down spring street
#4 blurry-eyed flowers wake from their long winter rest see them jump and play
“All you really need to do is accept this moment fully. You are then at ease in the here and now and at ease with yourself.”-Eckhart Tolle
Welcome to the third week of my #100DayProject. While I started watercolor painting as a way to combat my perfectionism, it has become an important part of my morning ritual. I use the early morning hours to process my emotions and combat my anxiety. Watercolors have blended into my routine so easily that it feels as if I’ve been doing it far longer than 21 days.
Things I discovered this week:
Start every painting with a wash of light color
Taping the paper to the board is highly satisfying
Pulling off the tape is equally satisfying
I work best when I have a source image
I need to accept my limitations
Although I’m still enjoying the painting process, my skill level is limiting my creativity. My challenge going forward will be to see what happens after I accept this uncomfortable feeling. Thanks for following me on another adventure and being so supportive. Let me know if you have a favorite painting or haiku. I love hearing from you.
#1 fuzzy purple dears hazy purple cloudy years don’t forget to breathe
#2 snowy wonderland pine-scented fantasy world come get lost with me
#3 fall with me, Alice down another rabbit hole where purple skies sing
#4 something calls to me in the ancient borogoves do you hear it too?
“I sometimes think of people’s personalities as the negative space around their insecurities.” -Lindy West
This week my assignment for the 52-week photo challenge was to capture something with negative space (also known as “copy space” in the commercial-photography industry). It’s a more minimalist style photo and allows space for advertising text to be added.
My first attempt was at our local Green Acres Nursery, but the plants were too close together and I couldn’t get enough space to create the effect I wanted. The last two photos below are the only ones I kept from that shoot. They don’t quite work for negative space, but I really liked how they turned out.
My second attempt was this morning in the rain. I drove around to the farms near my house and I captured these moody photos. I know #8 doesn’t work, but I wanted to include it anyway. Let me know which shot you think best uses the concept of negative space and which is your favorite. Thanks for supporting me!
#1#2#3#4#5#6#7#8#9 (This one is dedicated to Cori)#10
Photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW
If you want to join the 52 Photo Challenge, you can find all the information at nicolesy.com
“I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel’s sake. The great affair is to move.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
I was gifted an overnight trip to Tahoe with my daughter and her best friend. I didn’t know how badly I needed this break. It gave me the chance to get away from my chores, marvel at the beauty of the world, make up stories about monsters hiding in dark snow, and sing in the car at the top of my lungs.
While my life has been hard lately, it’s equally beautiful. It’s the dark bare trees standing up in a field of white. I’d like to share a few things with you.
A childhood friend died unexpectedly last week. Cori introduced me to Sweet Valley High books and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I have fond memories of playing in her pool, doing runway shows in her hallway, and snuggling in blankets to watch movies. I’m devasted for the sister left behind as she’s now lost her father and both her older sisters. Why does tragedy strike some families more than others? It’s wildly unfair.
My daughter continues to struggle with her mental health. This week we had some of the hardest conversations I’ve had in my life, but we are moving forward. She’s getting stronger and bolder about her recovery. Healing isn’t linear and sometimes those steps back are necessary to take another leap forward.
My mother is moving more than 500 miles away in less than two weeks and I’m not ready for her to go. I’ll be helping her move and I know this is good for her, but I’m grieving the loss of being able to see her whenever I want. Super plus side, I’ll get to take photographs in Washington and I’ve heard it’s breathtaking.
I’ve been reading poetry monthly at a wonderfully inclusive and supportive bookstore called A Seat at the Table. They’ve offered to help me launch my book career by hosting a reading/book signing for my 52-short story collection in early May. I’ve got a lot of work to do before I’m ready, but it’s exciting and feels like purpose and joy.
I’ve not posted as much lately and I’m behind in reading my favorite bloggers, but I’m back at it today. Thanks to those who continue to root me on, your support means the world to me. Let me know what you think of these Tahoe photos and have a wonderful week!
Photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW
Bridgette Tales 