poetry: snow cave

in Winter
in all Winters
it lays dormant inside 
domed darkness

you walk past it looking nowhere
anywhere, but not there
  never there

yet it goes still
growing bedrock feral
mushroom bellied
lichen ferocious
trapping pain web-like
crackling like ice
smelling like bruised desperation
like untouched skin
like hot ash scattered by eroded winds 

you don’t need to see
to feel

you walk faster looking nowhere
anywhere, but not there
  never there 

yet it goes still
like tides
like movement 
Spring saplings tap-dancing
on rooted tiptoes
daffodils issuing battle cries
thrusting spears upward
dandelion puffs cooing
dreaming light again
there’s a light somewhere
he says

your nested winds sigh
your meadow grasses rustle
your waters ripple gently

just a bit longer
you tell your forest
  hold tight 

Dream with me

When children are small you can sprinkle nutritional yeast on millet and tell them it’s fairy dust. With a word, it becomes so. Such is the power of language. What if we could do the same with our dreams? Here’s a poem and flash fiction rambling on about such things. Let me know what you think.


little shadow

perched on a purple wall
staring at my sleeping child

what do you see shadow bird?

do you see. see like me?

my grandfather became cloud
grandmother became butterfly.

I sit in her chair. I sing with his voice.

what will be left for her when I, transform?

maybe I become you.
maybe I watch from a wall.

flying with one word.
staying with another. word.

dream me alive. over and over and over.
clove and nutmeg. owl spreading wings.

forest hears, nothing.

another dream


Transform

One night during a dream of chaos and war a woman gives birth to a baby with hair the color of fresh snow. The baby blinks at the woman with eyes as green as ancient ferns and coos like a dove. What if instead of forgetting the baby when she woke the woman decides to name her Mabel and she becomes as real as coffee.

The woman dresses the dream baby in clothes the color of fresh marigolds and wears her close to her chest in a carrier woven of the softest wool. She takes the baby out into the rain and her laugh becomes lightning. The world sparks around them and glows brighter.

The plants in the woman’s house grow with the baby—greener and taller, greener and taller until the woman is forced to cut through them with a large knife, like an explorer in a jungle. She and the baby laugh at the silliness of it as birds make nests in her living room and a family of rabbits discovers the perfect place to live within her closet.

They spend most days outdoors so Mabel can make the grass thicker, the trees taller, and the flowers bolder. The neighbors don’t know what’s making their gardens grow and the woman decides not to tell them. Not everyone believes as strongly as she does and she fears their disbelief will pull the child away.

When Mabel starts walking the woman takes her outside in the middle of the night and upon seeing the full moon the child begins to sing. The tiny lilting notes cause the stars to dance and the moon to move closer and closer to the Earth. The woman knows this won’t go unnoticed and will have terrible consequences, but she hesitates to act because love defies logic and gravity. Love defies most things.

Mabel however makes the choice for her, wiggling out of her grasp and floating toward the moon. The baby with hair as white as snow returns back into the dream where she was born and the woman walks home alone. Her house feels different but she smiles the same because Mabel is as real as coffee and her physical absence changes nothing. She wraps herself in wool and dream walks to visit her child.

Such is the power of language. And love.

Poetry: Hidden

Beneath the painted trees
lives another world
tilted a little to the left

Open your eyes
walk two steps forward
feel the movement

You might hear raindrops
or the lake calling
don’t get distracted

Lean all the way in
watch as looping circles
turn into golden threads

Pull one

Become a magnet
draw others near
trust you won’t fall

You’re a warmth weaver
create a fireside nest
fill it with moonlight

Burrow deep inside
touch the fabric
tell yourself not to forget


This is dedicated to the lovely women I’m spending the weekend with in Tahoe.

poetry: playing games

open and shut them
a game with toddlers
to still their hands
to make them giggle
I play it in my head
to still my fears
open and shut them
ambulance out the window
stretcher in the hall
two paramedics in blue
electrodes on his chest
it’s not like last time
give a little clap, clap, clap
take me back to stillness
no ripples spreading out
just flat glassy ease
a breath and a sigh
open and shut them
pajama pants, slip-on shoes
home before sunrise
coffee while he sleeps
hugs when he wakes
put them in your lap, lap, lap

poetry: clever

panic sits inside my shoulder
just under the skin
wiggling spiderset leggy, crawling
3 a.m. do you know where your children are?
i check, don’t trust my eyes
other senses won’t wake
drive a tractor toward a fence
can’t go fast enough to break through
are they on the other side
am i running to or from something
hold my hand, am i really here
bubbles become breath, no breath is bubbly
spiders lie, right, it’s not real
4 a.m. do you know where your children are?
they aren’t little but the world is bigger now
eyes too open, close them
rest your head upon my shoulder
my head doesn’t know where to rest
it spins, a top loose upon the table, it trips the horse
we tumble, tangled limbs, hoofs, hair
spider calls its friends, a party moves down my body
pop the champagne, let’s go
5 a.m. do you know where your children are?
pull the legs off so they can’t scurry inside
i still feel them even when i say they aren’t real
exterminators tell me they got every single one
but why do i hear them tap dancing
clever cat knows, he will find them for me
hearts can only take so much, he purrs
6 a.m. do you know where your children are?
too late to take the little white pill, stuff to do
it makes me sleepy—fight it, fight it, fight it
eight-leg shadows find my chest, neck, eyes
fine, take it, one loud swallow
fingers find keyboard, words trip/flip/skip
not good enough, not anything, fine, all fine
check kids one more time, one more time
one
more
time
step outside, cool air brushes skin softer
morning traffic sounds, my ocean
in and out, nothing else, we breathe
seagulls cry with the mourning doves
time to do last night’s dishes
another load of laundry
i know where my kids are


Author’s note: I suffer from occasional panic attacks. I had one this morning and penned these words in an attempt to capture the feeling.

poetry: wonder

we watch the water hold tight
rope swings, we jump high
rise like lilacs, like waves, like space
ship rocks, sways, we tumble
weeds snare, we stare at sun
shine within, soft skin, we whirl
pool glows, grows, lacks sense
less we see, less we know—a flash
back to life, hands catch cold rain
bow tied neatly around bold moon
light dances, our souls wonder
land a kiss upon my lips, our hour
glass turns, we say goodnight


Author’s note: Each line in this poem ends with the start of a compound word. You can either read the poem line by line or you can read those words combined—tightrope, highrise, spaceship, etc. Let me know what you think.

poetry: lunch with jenny

i am burning it down she says
while we eat meat and rice
in the afternoon. flames crackle 
between us scorching nearby tables 
and turning sorrys into ash. our 
daughters watch us shoot lasers 
from our eyes while holding 
hands. we laugh at time shedding
worn-out shadows until we sing
our siren call center stage. fire
leaps from our naked tired bodies
to transform old beliefs until 
they break free or bloom or evolve;
anything but stand still. wiggle
it loose until it snaps. forget
how it looks. our mothers didn’t
know but we do. we dare each other
to burn brighter and brighter. we
promise to not look away. hearts
can be soft and still rage. let’s
get together again soon, i say.

poetry: wind 

21/30

dirt between toes
grows nothing
summer heat takes it
cooks me in caramel sauce
loss
forget peach pits
sticky skin peeling
beer bottles stuck in sand
give me wind
thinned 
veiny see-through leaves
silk scarf blowing
coffee bear hugs
bury the acorn
reborn
stones stacked higher
letters scratch
pinecone hearts sing
sit with me
dear
here
where the air blows
again
and again
and again
forever


More short poems:
1/30: not my cat
2/30: comfort
3/30: ache
4/30: remember
5/30: graduation
6/30: big love
7/30: Heavy and light
8/30: delicate
9/30: leaping
10/30: Dad gave me…
11/30: solstice
12/30: twisted
13/30: starving
14/30: open up
15/30: lines
16/30: daybreak
17/30: moon water
18/30: bedtime
19/30: typewriter
20/30: supermoon

poetry: supermoon

20/30

we look upwards
towards a promise
we are small
but not alone
we are lonely
but not small

she sees us
our broken hearts
our shadow shapes
how we twist
moving in parallel
dreaming in sync

maybe bright means
lighter than before
we stand quiet
hands reach out
we look upwards
towards a promise


More short poems:
1/30: not my cat
2/30: comfort
3/30: ache
4/30: remember
5/30: graduation
6/30: big love
7/30: Heavy and light
8/30: delicate
9/30: leaping
10/30: Dad gave me…
11/30: solstice
12/30: twisted
13/30: starving
14/30: open up
15/30: lines
16/30: daybreak
17/30: moon water
18/30: bedtime
19/30: typewriter