Travel: Historic Shelburne Hotel

“It is required of every man,” the ghost returned, “that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide; and, if that spirit goes not forth in life, it is condemned to do so after death.”
—Charles Dickens, “A Christmas Carol”

After spending two nights in Astoria, Oregon we traveled to the beautiful and sleepy town of Seaview, Washington. We were lucky to get an attic room in the Shelburne Hotel which was built in 1896 and is the longest continuously operating hotel in Washington State. The big draw for me was the feeling of stepping back in time, but it was the rumors of ghosts that excited my daughter. Who doesn’t want a little adventure?

From the moment we parked our car and walked in the front door we felt welcome. The hotel is very LGBTQ-friendly and has a tremendously calm feeling. We arrived early and the staff encouraged us to explore the hotel while they finished cleaning our room. One employee showed us the secret library (swoon) and told us a bit about the local spirits—Georgina in the garden beside the large tree, the original caretaker Charles Beaver in the second-floor hallways, and a girl named Nina in the attic.

Now, before I go into the details of our possible ghost encounter, I want to share these photos taken with my iPhone 13 to give you a sense of the place. Almost all my photos are slightly crooked or off, which fits the mood perfectly.

All the stained glass was rumored to be repurposed from a church in Morecambe, England, that was being torn down and dates back to the 1800s.

The very creaky stairs up the attic.

Our bedroom. The little nook off to the left is where my daughter slept.

The hotel restaurant was divine. I particularly loved the wine and crème brûlée.

Now, here’s the part I’m a bit hesitant to share. You see, almost all of what happened can be explained away with logic. However, if you choose to believe in spirits…

After eating in the restaurant we retired to our attic room. We got into our pajamas and watched a few episodes of RuPaul’s Drag Race before deciding it was time to rest. My daughter climbed into the little nook area and I sprawled across the bed. Before I went to sleep I said a prayer of protection and asked to be left alone. My daughter said she wanted to see a spirit and was open to an encounter. The bed was comfy and although we both heard some creaking on the stairs and a few bumps on the outside walls, I drifted to sleep fairly quickly.

I woke several times with an incredibly warm feeling against my back as if a dog or small person was curled up beside me. The room was cold but I was sweaty and uncomfortable. Each time it happened, I sat up and checked on my daughter and found her sleeping peacefully in the little nook. In retrospect, I should have been scared as I’m usually a complete baby about such things, but I wasn’t.

About the fourth time this happened, I whispered into the room.

“I need my rest.”

A few minutes later I felt a hand tap my left leg three times. It was comforting, which if you know me, is highly strange. I’m the type of person who jumps if someone comes into the room unannounced. I’ve been known to freak myself out and think someone was in the backseat of my van while driving home late at night and pull over at a gas station to check every inch of the back in the bright lights. I don’t even like scary movies, yet this touch on my leg felt natural and not at all scary.

At 3 a.m. I woke to my daughter softly calling my name. I sat up groggily and saw she was still in her nook but she looked strange.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t know…”

She was terribly cold and shaking violently.

“My stomach hurts…”

She has a very sensitive stomach, particularly while traveling, and I figured maybe the rich dessert didn’t sit well with her. I didn’t want to tell her, but I started to get scared for the first time. The room felt different and I quickly turned on all the lights. Her skin was ice cold, her face pale, and she couldn’t stop shaking. At that moment I wanted to pack everything up and leave, but before I could say anything else she ran to the bathroom and threw up in the sink. Within a few minutes, she started to feel better and crawled into bed with me. The heat I’d been feeling on my back was gone, but so was the scary feeling that had arrived when she felt sick.

Unable to go back to sleep right away, we watched another episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race and then turned out the lights. I said another prayer of protection, including my daughter this time, and fell asleep fairly quickly. The warm feeling on my back didn’t return and I didn’t wake until I heard the call of a common starling outside the window in the morning.

My daughter woke up a few hours after me and told me what she saw right before falling asleep. A young girl was standing near the foot of the bed looking at her. She was wearing a white dress and had short black hair curled around her face. She didn’t say anything and her face didn’t show any emotion, but after seeing the girl she was able to sleep soundly.

The staff told us that sometimes things get moved around in the rooms, but we didn’t notice anything different in the morning. I showered and we had delicious coffee and tea in the lobby. We wrote down our story in a journal kept behind the front counter and left. We talked about our experience and could explain all of it away. It wasn’t until arriving at our next hotel we thought perhaps we did experience something supernatural. Digging through my bag to get my swimming suit for the hot tub I found this:

One of the first things my daughter said when we walked into the attic bathroom was, “Look at this cute makeup towel!” My bag was never in the bathroom and we didn’t take the towel off its hook. Maybe, just maybe, Nina gave it to us as a souvenir or perhaps an apology for my daughter getting sick. Regardless of how it came to be at the bottom of my bag, I’ll be mailing it back. We won’t soon forget our night at the Shelburne Hotel.

Thanks for reading and let me know if you’ve had any experiences like this. I’d love to hear it!


Note: To my regular readers, I’m back home now and will return to writing poetry and short stories soon. I’m also terribly behind in reading all your beautiful blog posts and hope to get caught up this week. Be ready for a batch of comments on your blogs soon!

Photography: Astoria, Oregon

“It’s OK, you’re a Goonie, and Goonies always make mistakes.”

When I was a small child I’d always watch “The Goonies” when I was sick or sad. It was my comfort movie and I can practically recite it for you word for word. This week I moved my mom from northern California to a small town in Washington very near Astoria, Oregon. When I found out it’s the home to several filming locations for “The Goonies” it felt right. I’m sad and I need my comfort movie.

After taking two days to drive here and get my mom settled in her new place, we spent the day exploring all the filming locations around the area. We had deep conversations about our connection and my mom told me she was proud of me. It feels like a big moment in my life. We always want our mom, but she needs to do this for her.

“Don’t you realize? The next time you see the sky, it’ll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it’ll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the best of stuff for us. But right now, they got to do what’s right for them. Because it’s their time. Their time! Up there! Down here, it’s our time. It’s our time down here.”
—Mikey, The Goonies


The jailhouse from the opening scene. It’s now a museum filled with artifacts from the film.

I was just a wee bit excited! “Out in the garage, ORV, four-wheel drive… …bullet holes the size of matzo balls!”—Chunk

Chester Copperfield’s wallet, the skeleton key, doubloon, and a Lou Gehrig baseball card.

They had Data’s complete outfit including his pinchers of power! Data is played by Ke Huy Qua who just won an Oscar for my new favorite movie “Everything Everywhere All at Once.”

“Yo. Hi guys. How’s it going? This is Willie… One-Eyed Willie. Say hi, Willie. Those are my friends… the Goonies.”—Mikey

“Goonies never say die!” The actual house. It was less than a minute from our hotel.

This is the window at the beginning of the film where Chunk presses his pizza and milkshake against the glass to watch the police chase the Fratellis.

The building is now a bowling alley and was closed but we all took turns reenacting it on the outside. Isn’t my mom cute?

This coffee shop is featured during the opening scene when Rosalita is crossing the street.

The Flavel House Museum is where Mikey’s dad waves to the kids when they are riding through town on their bikes.

It’s an interesting and slightly creepy house. My daughter did some research after we left and found out they left out some big parts of the family history.

What a thrill to stand here.

Beautiful beach. Not sure if those are the rocks that lined up with the doubloon, but I choose to believe they are.

My daughter and mom.

After our Goonies exploring we visited two spots my mom loves.

Flying together down the path in the wild winds.

  • Photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW

52 Photo Challenge: Week 13-Sense of Scale

“Anything is grand if it’s done on a large enough scale.”
—Donna Tartt, The Secret History

This week my assignment for the 52 photo challenge was to capture a sense of scale. After finding an old photo of my dad in a rice field for my Shoebox Poetry series, I wanted to take photos of my daughter in a field. I figured it would do two things—show a sense of scale and give us a chance to recreate the image.

We found a field near my sister-in-law’s house filled with bright yellow flowers. It was muddy and a bit difficult, but I’m extremely happy with these photos. I hope you like them too! The rest of the photos were taken driving around looking for cranes. We found a few, but they were never quite in the right position. The clouds ended up being the star of the day. Let me know which of these best fits the assignment or if you have a favorite. Have a wonderful week!

Note: These photos were taken last Thursday. I’m currently on an emotional trip moving my mother to Washington state. I’ll post more about it later this week.


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  • Photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW
  • If you want to join the 52 Photo Challenge, you can find all the information at nicolesy.com

52 Photo Challenge
Week 1: Bokeh
Week 2: Silhouette
Week 3: Black and White
Week 4: Motion Blur
Week 5: Texture
Week 6: Framing
Week 7: Leading Lines
Week 8: Negative Space
Week 9: Patterns
Week 10: Symmetry
Week 11: Green
Week 12: Sidelight

Shoebox Poetry: The Field

what if the calling crows think you are
a makeshift scarecrow built for chasing
them away from their dreams? will they
peck at you with sharp beaks so far from
my grasp? will I be able to run fast enough
to save you? the shifting rice tells me
to take a deep breath. this isn’t a cornfield
and the cranes won’t hurt you. but grey
skies mean trouble so run to me anyway
my boy. mother needs you in her arms.


Shoebox Poetry: This is the fourth poem in my series based on an old box of photos I inherited when my grandmother died in 2004. The back of this photo reads “Gary in rice field Nov ’53.” It’s a photo of my dad, but it made me think of my own boy. He turned 18 in December and is finishing high school in a few months. This poem poured out instantly along with some tears. I guess I have some feelings.

Here are the other poems in the series if you missed them:

#100DayProject: Watercolors-Week 5

“The first mistake of art is to assume that it’s serious.”—Lester Bangs

Welcome to the fifth week of my #100DayProject. While last week my focus was on happiness and light, this week it has shifted to mistakes. The first two paintings of the week were such a mess I started to wonder why I’m even doing this. My inner critic grew fangs and I became insecure and super wobbly. I dramatically announced to my family that I was quitting painting because “I suck” and “it’s too hard.” My family said nothing, wisely, and I eventually sent myself to my room and reread the guidelines I wrote down in week one:

  • be messy and imprecise
  • have fun with the process
  • don’t overthink
  • don’t plan
  • don’t judge the finished painting
  • be brave

With these points in mind, I tried again. With the exception of the flowers, these are all outside my comfort zone. They are messy and a bit strange, but oddly I found myself relaxing more in the mess. I wonder where letting myself live in this jumbled mistake zone will lead me? I’ve got nine more weeks to find out. Let me know if you have a favorite painting or haiku and thanks for sticking with me as I figure out how to take myself less seriously.


#1
under the big top
spring carnival awakes
can you hear its call?

#2
pitter pat splatter
colorful little clatter
what does it matter?

#3
fingertip dancing
fuzzy family photo
dressed in regal green

#4
messy self-portrait
hiding blue moon memories
tomorrow brings sun

#5
tulips reaching high
calling out your sacred name
remember—be brave


52 Photo Challenge: Week 12-Sidelight

“She knew that this silent, motionless portal opened into the street; if the sidelights had not been filled with green paper, she might have looked out on the little brown stoop and the well-worn brick pavement. But she had no wish to look out, for this would have interfered with her theory that there was a strange, unseen place on the other side—a place which became, to the child’s imagination, according to its different moods, a region of delight or terror.”-Henry James, The Portrait of a Lady

This week my assignment for the 52 photo challenge was to capture sidelight. After looking online for several days at examples of this concept, I decided I wanted to try my hand at artsy portrait shots. My daughter generously agreed to be my model and we spent a delightful afternoon playing with light.

The majority of the shots were taken in our green bathroom using a flashlight and a gold reflector, but a few were taken using the natural light of our front window. Although these photos are very different than my normal ones, I love them. Not only do they showcase the beauty of my gorgeous daughter, but they forever will be a reminder of our time together.

I’ve written a lot about her struggles, but not nearly enough about how lucky I am to have this time with her. We spend our days orbiting around each other and it’s a treasure I didn’t know I’d have at this time in my life. While everything isn’t always easy, loving her is. She gave me permission to share these photos and I hope you enjoy them as much as we do.

Let me know if you have a favorite and have a wonderful week!


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  • Photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW
  • If you want to join the 52 Photo Challenge, you can find all the information at nicolesy.com

52 Photo Challenge
Week 1: Bokeh
Week 2: Silhouette
Week 3: Black and White
Week 4: Motion Blur
Week 5: Texture
Week 6: Framing
Week 7: Leading Lines
Week 8: Negative Space
Week 9: Patterns
Week 10: Symmetry
Week 11: Green

Shoebox Poetry: Spring Flowers

I am dancing yellow flowers
moss growing on a cracked boulder
dragonfly battles waged through cattail forests
sleeping rocks tucked beneath rotted boards
wide-winged hawks quietly circling prey

I am daring spring sunshine
fields of green miner’s lettuce wet with dew
twisted trees reflected in muddy puddles
colorful floral crowns skipping around a maypole
teeny tiny frogs in a toddler’s hand

I am dandelion fluff wishes
bubbles caught in a spiraling spider web
fat white clouds pressing through a rainbow
afternoons spent reading in a hammock
soft rabbits hiding among wild buttercups

I am lively starry jubilation
moon struck open-armed happiness
deep water thick-boned delight
galaxy swirling sweet poetry madness
freckle-faced daisy ringed freedom


Shoebox Poetry: This is the third poem in my series based on an old box of photos I inherited when my grandmother died in 2004. I love the joy in this photo and I hope my words match its beauty and grace. Happy first week of spring!

Photography: Local Cemetery

“We’re all ghosts. We all carry, inside us, people who came before us.”
-Liam Callanan

I’ve been thinking a lot about my grandmothers lately. Both of them were strong ladies filled with secrets and heartache. Neither of them lived a happy and fulfilled life. They passed onto me a restlessness and a sharp sadness I feel in my bones.

I don’t have a place to visit them, so for our photography lesson today I took my daughter and mother to our small local cemetery. It was a peaceful morning and I walked around thinking about what legacy I will leave my children. How do I want them to remember me?

I keep coming back to the idea that they need to see me happy. It’s by far the greatest gift I can give them—a legacy of peacefulness and joy. They need to see me publish my book, be active and strong, and cultivate my own happiness. I want to leave them a legacy far different than the one passed onto me. I have work to do.

It’s not my photography day, but I want to share these photos with you anyway. I edited them boldly, exaggerating the colors, and I hope you find something interesting in them.


  • Photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW

#100DayProject: Watercolors-Week 4

“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”-Roy T. Bennett

Welcome to the fourth week of my #100DayProject. Before we get to the watercolors, I want to share with you a moment of self-discovery I had this morning while journaling. Although I’ve had similar “aha” moments in the past, this time it feels a bit deeper. Maybe you’ll relate.

As a parent we want our kids to have the very best lives. We want them to thrive and be happy. Both my kids are struggling. My son still deals with the effects of two major accidents and my daughter has serious mental health struggles. This has taken from my kids “normal” teenage milestones like getting their driver’s license or attending prom. The picture I had of their teenage years is nothing like what we are experiencing and it breaks my heart. I often don’t know what to do.

These feelings have led me to internalize the belief that their struggles are entirely my fault. I tell myself that if I was a “better” mother they wouldn’t be facing such obstacles. I blame myself so deeply for everything that it’s become a catalyst for self-destructive behavior. I’m not eating right or caring for my body. I’m not nurturing my marriage or my friendships. I’m not even writing like I was.

I keep trying to restart everything, but I can’t seem to do it. This is where the big “aha” happened for me this morning. The reason I’m failing is I’ve decided I deserve to be punished. I failed as a mother and therefore I deserve to be miserable. After all, how can I be happy if my children are not? How can I continue to pursue my dreams when my kids are hurting? Isn’t that selfish? Isn’t that wrong?

Of course, it’s not. I need to lead my family by example. Taking care of my body and meeting my goals will inspire my family and give me more energy to face everything. Allowing the weight of the world to press me down doesn’t help anyone. It seems like such a simple thing to realize, but at the same time, it feels enormous. I’m not sure how to translate this into action yet, but it feels like a wobbly step in the right direction.

Now, let’s talk about watercolor! This week I focused on happiness and light—things I’m seeking to call into my life again. My painting time has become a great counterbalance to the heavy stuff I’ve been processing in my journal. My skill level has remained the same, but I’m okay with that. Right now it’s not about growth—it’s about survival and joy. 

I’d love to know if you can relate to my story or have a favorite painting or haiku. Thanks for following my blog and for always cheering me on. Happy Wednesday!


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magical forest
dancing brightly in my dreams
help me stand taller

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golden shiny sun
deep within my mystic core
heal my broken heart

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budding shamrock luck
shimmy shimmy sway and shake
boogie down spring street

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blurry-eyed flowers
wake from their long winter rest
see them jump and play


52 Photo Challenge: Week 11-Green

“The dawn was apple-green,
The sky was green wine held up in the sun,
The moon was a golden petal between.

She opened her eyes, and green
They shone, clear like flowers undone
For the first time, now for the first time seen.”-D. H. Lawrence

This week my assignment for the 52 photo challenge was to capture something green. My mother, daughter, and I caught a break between storms and took pictures along the American River and in downtown Folsom. It was a lovely day with plenty of green things to catch my eye. We all needed this time together.

Things with my daughter are hard. Last night we went to see the brilliant film “Everything Everywhere All at Once” for a second time and it struck me how much the battle I’m fighting with my daughter’s mental illness is like that horrible black bagel. Her brain tells her so many lies I often feel like I’m at war with her mental illness. Maybe I need to find a way to download some kick-ass martial arts skills or, better yet, find a way to wield my kindness like a weapon.

I sobbed last night in the kitchen for a solid five minutes and then pulled myself back together. What we are doing isn’t working well enough. I’m calling her mental health team again today and asking for more help. I’m exhausted, but I’m hopeful. To quote the film, “When I choose to see the good side of things, I’m not being naive. It is strategic and necessary. It’s how I learned to survive through everything.” I also love this quote, “The only thing I do know is that we have to be kind. Please, be kind. Especially when we don’t know what’s going on.”

Thank you to everyone who reads my blog and spreads kindness. Your comments mean the world to me. Let me know what photo you like best this week. I’m quite partial to the little mushrooms (#2) and the weird cactus-looking weed (#5). I got muddy for both shots but totally worth it. Have a wonderful week!


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  • Photos were taken with an Olympus OM-D and edited with ON1 Photo RAW
  • If you want to join the 52 Photo Challenge, you can find all the information at nicolesy.com

52 Photo Challenge
Week 1: Bokeh
Week 2: Silhouette
Week 3: Black and White
Week 4: Motion Blur
Week 5: Texture
Week 6: Framing
Week 7: Leading Lines
Week 8: Negative Space
Week 9: Patterns
Week 10: Symmetry