Dream with me

When children are small you can sprinkle nutritional yeast on millet and tell them it’s fairy dust. With a word, it becomes so. Such is the power of language. What if we could do the same with our dreams? Here’s a poem and flash fiction rambling on about such things. Let me know what you think.


little shadow

perched on a purple wall
staring at my sleeping child

what do you see shadow bird?

do you see. see like me?

my grandfather became cloud
grandmother became butterfly.

I sit in her chair. I sing with his voice.

what will be left for her when I, transform?

maybe I become you.
maybe I watch from a wall.

flying with one word.
staying with another. word.

dream me alive. over and over and over.
clove and nutmeg. owl spreading wings.

forest hears, nothing.

another dream


Transform

One night during a dream of chaos and war a woman gives birth to a baby with hair the color of fresh snow. The baby blinks at the woman with eyes as green as ancient ferns and coos like a dove. What if instead of forgetting the baby when she woke the woman decides to name her Mabel and she becomes as real as coffee.

The woman dresses the dream baby in clothes the color of fresh marigolds and wears her close to her chest in a carrier woven of the softest wool. She takes the baby out into the rain and her laugh becomes lightning. The world sparks around them and glows brighter.

The plants in the woman’s house grow with the baby—greener and taller, greener and taller until the woman is forced to cut through them with a large knife, like an explorer in a jungle. She and the baby laugh at the silliness of it as birds make nests in her living room and a family of rabbits discovers the perfect place to live within her closet.

They spend most days outdoors so Mabel can make the grass thicker, the trees taller, and the flowers bolder. The neighbors don’t know what’s making their gardens grow and the woman decides not to tell them. Not everyone believes as strongly as she does and she fears their disbelief will pull the child away.

When Mabel starts walking the woman takes her outside in the middle of the night and upon seeing the full moon the child begins to sing. The tiny lilting notes cause the stars to dance and the moon to move closer and closer to the Earth. The woman knows this won’t go unnoticed and will have terrible consequences, but she hesitates to act because love defies logic and gravity. Love defies most things.

Mabel however makes the choice for her, wiggling out of her grasp and floating toward the moon. The baby with hair as white as snow returns back into the dream where she was born and the woman walks home alone. Her house feels different but she smiles the same because Mabel is as real as coffee and her physical absence changes nothing. She wraps herself in wool and dream walks to visit her child.

Such is the power of language. And love.

Poetry: Constrict

He had a picture of me 
on his work desk. A boa 
constrictor wrapped around 
my neck. He’d say,
“She wasn’t even scared.” 

His framed pride
didn’t match my fear, 
so I pretended.

Not a snake charmer, 
I learned to drink venom.
Walk through glass. Palms
up, always. Let me prove 
how good I am, like sweet
orange trees. Climb. Take
cover beneath my limbs, 
I’ll take all the blame. Sorry
for the storm, for freezing
pomegranate hearts. Orphan
without warmth—I know. 

Look, watch me spin so
bright. Sing to the moon. 
Ride through a rice field, kick
dust onto the snow-white
cranes. See me create starlight
babies with magical breath—
lean in. Smell them. 
Part me. 
Part you. 
Us.

Branches. You see?
Beautiful are the buds
bearing your blue eyes.

Maybe you had to move
away. Once, no twice.
You needed to be further
from this mess; this me.

Further and further.
I see.

Neck, boa, constrict—
my words press like sap
pushing through bark.
Not fearless, but what
will too late feel
like when words sit stuck
inside. No, say it all. Look,
do you see? “She wasn’t even

scared.”

Photography: Tomales Catholic Cemetery

“The cemetery is an open space among the ruins, covered in winter with violets and daisies. It might make one in love with death, to think that one should be buried in so sweet a place.”—Percy Bysshe Shelley, Adonais

I’ve passed the Tomales Catholic cemetery for years and always wanted to stop. On Thanksgiving, I finally did. Wandering the grounds taking pictures of the beautiful statues, some dating back to the 1800s, my mind wandered to my own lineage. I have no sacred grounds to honor my ancestors and so I choose to think of them.

Hawks circled above me and the sun shone far too bright in the early afternoon sky. I felt a variety of feelings from unease to joy. I wondered about the women who came before me and the roads they walked. Gratitude flooded my body. My camera is a time machine. A lens to see more than I can.

Walk with me.


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  • Photos were taken with Olympus OM-D  and edited with ON1 Photo RAW

poetry: playing games

open and shut them
a game with toddlers
to still their hands
to make them giggle
I play it in my head
to still my fears
open and shut them
ambulance out the window
stretcher in the hall
two paramedics in blue
electrodes on his chest
it’s not like last time
give a little clap, clap, clap
take me back to stillness
no ripples spreading out
just flat glassy ease
a breath and a sigh
open and shut them
pajama pants, slip-on shoes
home before sunrise
coffee while he sleeps
hugs when he wakes
put them in your lap, lap, lap

52 Photo Challenge: Week 43-Season

“Way out in the country tonight he could smell the pumpkins ripening toward the knife and the triangle eye and the singeing candle.”—Ray Bradbury

October was a blur of busyness and I’m behind in everything—laundry, dishes, yard work, and blogging. Life is like that sometimes.

My month included poetry night. Housesitting. A music festival. Helping my sister-in-law after emergency surgery. Becoming a godmother. Dungeons & Dragons. Five pumpkin patches with my nephew. Halloween traditions. Movies. Haunted houses. Lots of treats.

My photo assignment, which I’m posting four days late, was to capture the fall season. I took these photos at our annual family outing to Rickey Ranch last week. Not my best work, but who doesn’t love cute animals and a beautiful sky.

To everyone starting NaNoWriMo—happy writing! I’m not participating this year but I’ll root you on. Bring on November!


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Here are some bonus photos:


  • Photos were taken with Olympus OM-D  and edited with ON1 Photo RAW
  • If you want to join the 52 Photo Challenge, you can find all the information at nicolesy.com


52 Photo Challenge
Week 1: Bokeh
Week 2: Silhouette
Week 3: Black and White
Week 4: Motion Blur
Week 5: Texture
Week 6: Framing
Week 7: Leading Lines
Week 8: Negative Space
Week 9: Patterns
Week 10: Symmetry
Week 11: Green
Week 12: Sidelight
Week 13: Sense of Scale
Week 14: One Lens
Week 15: Series
Week 16: Flat Lay
Week 17: Behind the Scenes
Week 18: Water
Week 19: Blurry Foreground
Week 20: Unique Perspective
Week 21: Shadow
Week 22: Food
Week 23: Abstract
Week 24: Reflection
Week 25: Contrast Color
Week 26: Think in Threes
Week 27: Starburst
Week 28: Low Perspective
Week 29: Macro
Week 30: Backlight
Week 31: Big Sky
Week 32: Dominant Color
Week 33: Fill the Frame
Week 34: Spot Metering
Week 35: Handheld Long Exposure
Week 36: S Curve
Week 37: Shoot Through
Week 38: Faces
Week 39: Blossom
Week 40: Environmental Portrait
Week 41: Texture Overlay
Week 42: Details

poetry: bedtime

18/30

imagine laying on water
arms and legs spread out
a soft-hearted starfish
a pink flowery scout

imagine cloudy skies above
layers of endless white
a water-drop world
a glinting galaxy bright

now imagine it switching
trading one for the other
a watery sky above you
a floating cloud mother

would anything change really
within your breathing chest
you are you always, child
now lay down and rest


More short poems:
1/30: not my cat
2/30: comfort
3/30: ache
4/30: remember
5/30: graduation
6/30: big love
7/30: Heavy and light
8/30: delicate
9/30: leaping
10/30: Dad gave me…
11/30: solstice
12/30: twisted
13/30: starving
14/30: open up
15/30: lines
16/30: daybreak
17/30: moon water

poetry: wander

sometimes i let the neighbor cat 
inside to wander my things. tail
held high he weaves through rooms, king
of the castle, purring. today
he finds grandmother’s wood hope chest
with the carved letter K, for Kate. “what’s
this?” he asks rubbing against my
bare legs. “let me show you,” i say
lifting him from the lid. her smell
is gone, but her things remain, tucked
inside mine. old and older. dear
grandmother and granddaughter. here.
gently i pull out a dark blue
handkerchief, tracing the small K. “see?”
we walk into the backyard, cat
at my heels, and place it upon 
the bright flowers. she loves being
outside. sunlight warms my skin. twice.

Poetry: Dad gave me…

10/30

Shakespeare’s measured love
Kubrik’s fractured time
Photography’s micro-moments
Nature’s meditative breath 
Animal’s magical simplicity
Book’s escape plan
Quiet’s unspoken pain
Legacy’s abandonment core
Love’s imperceptible gaze

This is me and my dad in the late 1970s. The books above are from a collection I won as a child with my dad at the Fair Oaks Shakespeare Festival. Although I’m always pushing for more, I’m grateful for my hippy animal-loving father. Happy Father’s Day.


More short poems:
1/30: not my cat
2/30: comfort
3/30: ache
4/30: remember
5/30: graduation
6/30: big love
7/30: Heavy and light
8/30: delicate
9/30: leaping

poetry: building another new start

with picking out bright yellow sunflowers from Trader Joe’s and hoping my eyes aren’t still puffy from crying myself to sleep last night

with wearing my expensive Dior lip gloss 026, intense mauve shimmer, because it makes me feel fancy

with drinking water from the turtle cup with the metal straw, the one my best friend made for me, because it makes everything taste better

with seeing the text I sent my dad about my feelings was read on Sunday but he’s still not responded, and deciding not to send another one

with wearing the colorful flower dress my four-year-old nephew said was his favorite because it makes me look like a garden

with playing the absolute stupidest game ever on the Nintendo Wii with the teens, drinking Grimace’s birthday shakes, and laughing so hard I remember kegel exercises are important

with waking up early to water outside and saying hi to three bumblebees and one hummingbird who lingered close enough I could see how incredible their wings are

with moving my watermelon plant to another part of the yard because it’s getting choked out by the enormous pumpkin leaves and wanting it to have a chance to survive

with watching all 10 episodes of Drag Me to Dinner with my daughter and wanting to hug every LGBTQ person on the planet and tell them they are loved

with having teary conversations with my teens about respect and communication knowing they will always have me and each other in their corner no matter what

with replacing the bowl of old candy on the counter with a bowl of fresh apples because I can’t make others love me the way I want to be loved, but I can eat healthier

with turning to words again and not worrying if they are good enough because that’s not the point and I can show up exactly how I am

Poetry: Heavy and light

7/30

My body feels heavy
Carrying ancient ancestral groves
Balanced upon my crown
Rooted within acrid soil.

My body feels heavy
Thickly bound bloody strings
Tautly held wounded anger
Attached within my chest.

My body wants light
Clear-cut forests laid bare
Tiny seedlings taking hold
Reaching out both directions.

My body wants light
Sharp scissors slice free
Snapping bright red strands
Allowing one liberated breath.


This ekphrastic poem was inspired by the sculpture above titled “Ancestor 1” by Aisha Harrison. It’s currently on display at the Crocker Art Museum.

More short poems:
1/30: not my cat
2/30: comfort
3/30: ache
4/30: remember
5/30: graduation
6/30: big love